By Mason I. Bilderberg
(or just plain woo) refers to ideas considered irrational or based on extremely flimsy evidence or that appeal to mysterious occult forces or powers. Concerned with emotions, mysticism, or spiritualism; other than rational or scientific; mysterious; new agey
. A person who has mystical or new age beliefs.
Holy crap. Sometimes i come across stuff so … so … um … how shall i say this gently? … so STUPID i have a hard time writing about it because i’m laughing so hard.
According to the website www.thebigom.org, “The world’s biggest ever mass sound healing event is happening at wembley arena” on 12/12/12.
Right off the bat you can tell just by the date of the event this is going to be magical: 12/12/12. As woo-woo decrees: if numbers look special they are special. The date 12/12/12 looks very special, doesn’t it? Like when you’re digital clock says 11:11 or 12:34 – again, very special.
The website goes on to say:
«December 2012 is being looked upon as the time of a significant spiritual shift in the collective consciousness of the planet into this new Golden Age. That’s why 12,000 people will be assembling in Wembley Arena on 12.12.12 to experience The Big Om mass sound healing event – an event with the power at a quantum level to shift the vibration of the planet – which will be live-streamed around the world.
«The Big Om is a five hour shamanic journey lead by metaphysical guru and sound healer Barefoot Doctor, starring Basement Jaxx plus introducing some of today’s leading electronic dance music acts/DJ’s plus a variety of gurus talking over the beats, in an Ibiza-Super-Club style setting, all building to The Big Om – 12,000 people chanting the biggest Om in history, miked and fed back through the system, filtered, phased, gated, sub-bass added, electronic pulse beneath, the beat building, lights swirling over the crowd, and creating a sensation the crowd feels in its knickers, leading to a collective sound-light orgasm that makes the earth move.»
Oh boy! A sound-light orgasm that makes the earth move! WOW! Wait. What? What is a sound-light orgasm? Never mind, don’t be a buzz kill … OooooooooM.
Here is their promotional video. I just watched it and i already feel enlightened and special.
What exactly is “sound healing”? According to WorldSoundHealing.org, sound healing “is the intentional use of sound to create an environment which becomes a catalyst for healing in the physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual aspects of our being.”
Yeah. Okay. Whatever.
WorldSoundHealing.org continues, “The intentional use of sound adds power to the conduit, whether it is through the use of an instrument or voice. By surrendering to the highest good, we ourselves become that conduit, or instrument, for peace, for healing, change, or growth.”
So what are we Om-ing about at this event? They don’t say explicitly. But given the prominent display of the Mayan calendar apocalypse theory staring back at me from the top of their web page, i can only speculate this colossal waste of Om will be about averting the December 21, 2012 apocalypse.
Lack of specific claims or purpose for events like this is not uncommon – especially in the UK where psychics, mediums, spiritualists, healers and other conjurers face prosecution if they cannot justify their claims. This is why such practitioners are careful to describe their con as “an experiment” or describe themselves as “entertainers” or they come up with lengthy, fine print disclaimers to describe themselves as something – anything – other than what they want you to believe they are.
Though the organizers of this non-event probably want to avoid guarantees and specifics because of legal liabilities, i can predict – with 100%, absolute certainty: One thing WON’T happen and two things WILL happen:
WON’T HAPPEN: The apocalypse.
WILL HAPPEN: Somebody will make a lot of money.
With the average ticket costing $80 (USD) and approximately 12,500 seats in Wembley Arena, somebody is raking in a cool $1,000,000 (USD) … and that doesn’t include what they’ll make on VIP seating packages, sponsorship deals, refreshments and sales of other promotional items before, during and after the event.
WILL HAPPEN: (After the apocalypse doesn’t happen) woo-woo practitioners everywhere will claim success for preventing a cataclysmic event.
It’s a well worn formula used in the new age, hocus pocus world of good vibrations:
1. Perpetuate something doomy and gloomy, like the end of the world. (End of the world prophecies work beautifully.)
2. Promote something new-agey as a solution, pitching your event with sophisticated-sounding, high-end woo-woo talk like this:
“On 12/12/12 at 12:12:12 AM – 12,000 enlightened souls will gather enmasse to attune to, invoke, transform and align with the pure and loving energies of our collective consciousness – and to act as a conduit for peace, healing, change and growth. By attuning ourselves to the inherently transformative powers and energies of the universal “know” we amplify and “anchor” the Earth, and the consciousness of others, by shifting the vibration of the planet at the quantum level and effecting positive changes.” (I made all that up. Pretty good, eh?)
3. When the doom and gloom fails to materialze (as expected) boast of your success!!!!!
See how this scam works? Take money out of the pockets of the gullible who give you credit for promising nothing and doing absolutely nothing.
Think about it, why are the promoters of this woo-woo fest charging people money to attend? If they really believe their own crap, they have exactly 9 days to spend their money before the apocalypse. I ought to attend this thing and ask for a refund on 12/22/12.
Conspiracists are also known for pulling this same stunt. They may predict the government will begin rounding up citizens and placing them in FEMA camps, telling us “this is going to start in the next 90 days!!!” On the 91st day when nothing has changed the conspiracists claim it was because they “got the word out”, “educated the sheeple” or “exposed the ruling elite.”
If i told you the sun won’t rise tomorrow unless you stand on your head in a bowl of chili, and you stand on your head in a bowl of chili, do you credit your head and the chili for allowing the sun to rise?
This is my Saturday rant of the day :)
Mason I. Bilderberg