Just hang in until the 1:15 minute mark. You WON’T be disappointed. Trust me.
We partnered with “Weird Al” to create this music video for his new album, “Mandatory Fun.” Also featuring Patton Oswalt, Tom Lennon, and Robert Ben Garant.
“Weird Al” Yankovic’s new album Mandatory Fun out now: http://smarturl.it/MandatoryFun
I just happened to be perusing the latest edition of the National Enquirer (it just happened to be lying around my house) when i came across this story about Hillary Clinton’s “Deadly Health Secrets.”
As i was reading the story i glimpsed the picture of Hillary lying face-down on the floor at the bottom of some stairs and i thought to myself … wait, what? A picture of Hillary lying face-down at the bottom of some stairs?!? I had to do a double take! Even the colors of the shirt and hair are similar!!!! (Sneak a peek at the image below)
After i stopped laughing out loud at the obvious blunder of this ad placement, i thought to myself, “how long before some conspiracist accuses the National Enquirer of using subliminal messaging for some kind of nefarious plot?”
What kind of plot? I don’t have any idea – they’ll create something. But if Hillary EVER slips down some stairs we’ll never hear the end of this coincidence.
Anyway, i thought this was hysterical so i made this image for reposting.
Enjoy your Friday evening :)
Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
By Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
Question: Does this image capture a modern-day military fighter time traveling back to WWII?
Answer: No. I made this in Adobe Photoshop the other day. But feel free to have some fun by reposting it on your favorite wackadoo site just to watch the reactions.
Dear Knights of the Brotherhood,
Howdy! I hope everyone’s summer is off to a swell start, and that, wherever this newsletter finds you, you are healthy, happy, and as intent as ever on clandestinely controlling every facet of global influence with the quiet and cruel fist of the élite.
It is an exciting time to be in the Illuminati! We have just welcomed a whole slew of wonderful new members into our family, all of whom look forward to meeting you at one of our bi-monthly meet-and-greets hosted by Rupert Murdoch, hitting the links for a round of golf on the recently reopened Clear Channel eighteen-hole course, or even just talking universal suppression of the common man over a highball in the newly refurbished NATO Oasis Lounge. And that’s just the beginning! So please do not hesitate to introduce yourself to our neophytes: Lupita Nyong’o, Ted Cruz, Michael Sam, Savannah Guthrie, and (yes, finally!) Blue Ivy Carter. Welcome, Fledgling Mercenaries of the New World Order!
But, first things first—I want to thank everyone for such a terrific turnout at our Viva La Revolución Fiesta Fundraiser back in March. I mean, wow! Go, team! With your help, we raised over 1.2 trillion dollars. Not too shabby! That money will go directly into bolstering bastions of religious influence in Latin America, pumping psychoactive carcinogens into domestic water supplies, and a long overdue paint job in the women’s locker room. Major props to Chuck Todd, Ludacris, and Prime Minister Shinzo Abe for putting in so much time and effort, as well as Jamba Juice and the Banco Central de Chile for making the night possible. You guys literally rule!
Now, August may feel far away, but trust me, enlightened few, Family Fun Night is just around the corner. Remember, this year’s theme is “proletariat fools,” so please tell your kids to start picking out their favorite naïve peon for the costume contest. First prize is two hundred dollars cash and a future ambassadorship.
By Mason I. Bilderberg
Just a quick note.
Somebody forwarded me this story about a highway overpass under construction in Herperia, California that caught fire and collapsed.
The bridge burned:
Then, according to the article, “The blaze caused steel girders to sag into the freeway below.”
But wait one second, back up the truck. They’re not fooling me.
Didn’t the 9/11 truthers tell us that fire doesn’t get hot enough to collapse steel structures? Why, yes . . . yes, they did.
So this bridge must’ve been taken down with explosives or thermite!!!!! Bastards!!!!!
This is a coverup! A false flag! We’re being lied to! We must demand the truth!!!! Who knew and when did they know it?
Wake up sheeple!!!!!!
While we have been looking up, the government has been taking us down!
The government has head-faked we the people! All this time, while we have been looking up at the sky and cursing all those chemtrails, the government has been poisoning us down low!!!!!
Greetings, sir or madam,
Your current station in life has attracted the attention of the omnipotent rulers of the universe, us, the Illuminati. We would hereby like to invite you to join our order of infinite power. However, while we are inviting you, please realize turning down the “offer” is not possible. If you don’t join you will be sent to another dimension. A dimension where we have even more power and our invitations are even more threatening. We can do that.
You have undoubtedly heard whispers of our existence and deeds, but let us now reveal the true scope of our society. Every government power but one is under our command, and the one that isn’t is because we don’t want it. It can keep its banks, watches, and neutrality. We already have Switzerland.
The global economy is our plaything. Sometimes we flip a coin to determine whether or not coins should still have value. So far the world hasn’t had to deal with worthless coins, but statistically it’s only a matter of time before the arcade industry plummets. For you see, we can make any industry crumble at any given moment. You remember Beanie Babies, I’m sure. Due to us, they didn’t grow into Beanie Adults.
Movies, books, music, television, Music Television. No form of entertainment goes out to the unenlightened (we call them the IllumiNOTi, but it really only works in print since it sounds exactly the same as the Illuminati, so don’t say it out loud because we’ll know if you do) without first passing by our very elaborate desks. Subliminal messages are placed in each form of media so our rule is cleverly obscured from the public. Sure, a few conspiracy theories leak out, but who do you think leaks those theories? Hmmmm?
Really, who do you think leaks those theories? Because it’s not us, and it could threaten our existence. If we wanted it to, that is.
As a member of the Illuminati, we will use you as a vessel to do our bidding, but the benefits are well worth the extreme manipulation. With the attached membership card and mini keychain version you now possess the right to:
- Walk onto any crime scene for any reason.
- Skip lines at participating theme parks.
- Give people jury duty.
- Visit Switzerland.
- Rename a star in most galaxies.
- Remove one word from the dictionary.
- Pass Go and collect $200, even if a card says not to.
- Void past promises.
- Be excluded from the laws of physics for a weekend (must request in advance).
- Plus several others!
To acknowledge your acceptance of our mandatory invitation, please construct a rather large, rather golden pyramid on your front yard by tomorrow. If not constructed by tomorrow, we shall construct it for you, but we’d rather not have to do that. That’s time we could be spending on rigging middle school elections.
Be aware that if you attempt to show this letter to a member of the IllumiNOTi, its true message will be hidden. Instead it will appear to them as an invitation to your band’s next show at a local bar. Good luck then explaining to them how you don’t actually have a band and won’t be playing that night. So you see, you have no choice but to join.
We welcome you to the Illuminati and can’t wait to see you on a crime scene in the near future!
Video via iLLumiNuTTi.com:
I thought i’d do my duty and let everybody know the world is going to end tonight or tomorrow night – maybe, kinda, NOT! But you KNOW the loons are out there screaming apocalyse!!!!
Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
Via 'Blood Moon' Attracts Stargazers, Conspiracy Theories – YouTube:
Okay, this is just fun stuff.
Wouldn’t it be great if you could generate meaningless new age drivel at the click of a mouse?
Think of how impressed all your higher consciousness, woo friends will be when you speak to them from several different dimensions – simultaneously!!!
Well, now you can! Click any of the images below to visit New-Age Bullshit Generator and you can create all the New Age horse crap your heart chakra desires!!
To infinity… and beyond!
Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
Had enough government rhetoric? Tired of following the sheeple? Fed up with believing what THEY want you to believe? Maybe it’s time to branch out and discover THE TRUTH.
If you’re new to the exciting world of conspiracy theories and just can’t decide which paranoid delusion best suits you, then why not use this handy flowchart to find your ideal conspiracy theory. Then you too can go and stick it to THE MAN.
“You know, this explains a lot. Because all my life, I’ve had this unaccountable feeling in my bones that something sinister was happening in the universe and that no one would tell me what it was.” Arthur Dent
NB This is not intended to be a complete list, but please don’t let that stop you commenting to let me know what I’ve missed off :)
Description via Walid ShoebatWalid Shoebat:
Perhaps one of the biggest problems with people who traffic in endless conspiracy theories is that nothing – absolutely nothing – can be taken at face value. In the clip below from Iran’s Press TV, a man identified as Political Commentator named Dr. Kevin Barrett weaves a conspiracy theory so convoluted, it might cause you to space out at some point. Stick with it though because he brings it all home by implicating Jacob Rothschild in the missing Malaysian airliner mystery.
The original video can be found here on YouTube but, honestly, don’t bother, it’s just more of the same ol’ mumbo-jumbo nonsense from the lunatics.
So, what to do?
Here . . . watch this version of the video that i made with my own two skeptical hands. This is how seriously all these nut jobs should be taken:
Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
Show them this:
‘Why Are We Even Here?’ Officials Probe
KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA—Following a host of conflicting reports in the wake of the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 last Saturday, representatives from the Kuala Lumpur–based carrier acknowledged they had widened their investigation into the vanished Boeing 777 aircraft today to encompass not only the possibilities of mechanical failure, pilot error, terrorist activity, or a botched hijacking, but also the overarching scope of space, time, and humankind’s place in the universe.
The airline, now in its fifth day of searching for the passenger jet carrying 239 passengers and crew, has come under fire for its perceived mishandling of the investigation, whose confusing and contradictory reports have failed to provide definitive answers on everything from how long the missing plane remained aloft after losing contact with air traffic controllers, to whether the flight made a radical alteration in its heading, to the very dimensions of space-time and the nature of reality, and what exactly it is that brought us into existence and imbued us with this thing we call life.
Additionally, the airline confirmed it had expanded its active search area to include a several-hundred-square-mile zone in the Indian Ocean as well as each of the seven or 22 additional spatial dimensions posited by string theory.
“We continue to do everything in our power and explore every possible lead—both Cartesian and phenomenological—to locate the aircraft as quickly as possible,” said Malaysia’s civil aviation chief Azharuddin Abdul Rahman, who went on to say that authorities were still actively seeking tips from anyone claiming knowledge related either to the flight, or to the mechanisms by which consciousness arises, or to the question of why anything physical and finite exists instead of nothing at all. “At this stage, we can’t rule anything out: not crew interference with the transponders, not a catastrophic electrical failure, not the emergence of a complex topological feature of space-time such as an Einstein-Rosen bridge that could have deposited the flight at any location in the universe or a different time period altogether, nothing.”
“Could a parallel universe have immediately swelled up from random cosmological fluctuation according to the multiverse theory and swallowed the flight into its folds, or could ice have built up on an airspeed sensor? Those are both options we are currently considering,” Rahman added. “Everything’s on the table. That is, insofar as anything exists at all, which we’re also looking into.”
Well, I’m happy to say that The Weekly World News has been supplanted as the world’s first and foremost disseminator of bullshit. The crown has now officially been passed to Natural News.
It’s not that the competition wasn’t stiff. The Weekly World News has had some doozies. (My all-time favorite TWWN headline: “Santa’s Elves Actually Slaves From The Planet Mars.”) But Natural News has edged them out, on two bases: (1) they have better writers, so their stories actually sound plausible and therefore sucker more people, and (2) they have mastered the art of distributing bonkers “news” stories via social media.
At first, it was just health stuff (and their site is still sub-headed, “Natural Health News and Scientific Discoveries”). And as such, they confined themselves for some time to articles telling you about how Big Pharma is trying to kill us all, how you can cure cancer with lemon juice, how putting onions in your socks draws out toxins, and how you won’t get heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or old age if you eat Indian gooseberries. (You thought I was going to say I made those up, didn’t you? Well, ha. Those are real article topics from Natural News. Teach you to make assumptions.)
But now, they’ve branched out. And because of this, we have a monumentally screwy piece of journalism, to wit: Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared because it… disappeared.
Yup. Disappeared. “Poof.” Or “zap,” or whatever noise you prefer your teleportation device to make. And admit it: it’s not really that surprising. Given that we’re talking about the loss of a huge passenger jet, it was only a matter of time until the conspiracy theories started flying around.
Author Mike Adams does it right, I have to give him that. First, it’s hammered into our brains how MYSTERIOUS and BAFFLING it is that the plane vanished (words to that effect appear dozens of times), and then we’re offered a possible explanation:
This is what is currently giving rise to all sorts of bizarre-sounding theories across the ‘net, including discussions of possible secret military weapons tests, Bermuda Triangle-like ripples in the fabric of spacetime, and even conjecture that non-terrestrial (alien) technology may have teleported the plane away.
But no, Adams says, that would be ridiculous. We couldn’t believe that without evidence. Instead, he asks us to believe the following:
The frightening part about all this is not that we will find the debris of Flight 370; but rather that we won’t. If we never find the debris, it means some entirely new, mysterious and powerful force is at work on our planet which can pluck airplanes out of the sky without leaving behind even a shred of evidence.
If there does exist a weapon with such capabilities, whoever control it already has the ability to dominate all of Earth’s nations with a fearsome military weapon of unimaginable power. That thought is a lot more scary than the idea of an aircraft suffering a fatal mechanical failure.
Righty-o. Because planes have never disappeared before, or anything. It’s not as if there’s a list of 122 airplane disappearances that have never been resolved, right there on Wikipedia — 36 of them since 1966, when black boxes were required on commercial aircraft. It’s not as if there is precedent for it taking a long while to locate wreckage — such as the remains of Air France Flight 447 in 2009, which took three years to recover. (The black box was finally found under 13,000 feet of water in the South Atlantic.)
Marginally more plausible theories have been trotted out, mostly centering on some kind of Chinese-led terrorist attack designed to get rid of one or more people who were on the plane. To that, I can only respond:
Back in December, I was excited. The reason I was excited was because everybody’s favorite über-Libertarian, New World Order conspiracy theorist quack, Mike Adams, a.k.a. The Health Ranger, had made an announcement. That announcement was that on January 6, 2014 Adams would announce astonishing “scientific findings” about food that would “revolutionize” nutrition and health. Given Adams’ past history of doing hilariously off-base things with scientific instruments, such as putting Chicken McNuggets under a microscope and being amazed that things look a lot different when highly magnified, resulting in his misinterpreting dust and probably flecks of spice to be bizarre and alien fibers responsible for Morgellon’s disease, I was hoping for, as I put it, comedy gold and blog fodder galore.
I was disappointed.
January 6 came and went, and all I saw over at Adams’ repository of all things that quack, NaturalNews.com, were reports from the hilariously named Forensic Food Lab at NaturalNews.com finding heavy metals and all sorts of “toxins” in not just grocery store food, but organic foods and “superfoods.” Holy hell, even vegan foods and seaweed and sea vegetable products were not immune from Adams’ incompetent use of expensive scientific equipment to generate terrifying numbers for concentrations of lead, cadmium, and other heavy metals. However, it soon became apparent to me that Adams was clearly using his newfound ability to misuse actual scientific instruments to “find” horrifying levels of metals and various scary chemicals in a lot of the supplements and “superfoods” that you’d normally expect him to support. It was then that I started to realize that Adams’ lunacy wasn’t really about belief. Not really. Not this time. Rather, it was about eliminating his competition by testing their products and finding them to be “loaded” with various scary sounding chemicals. He even went so far as to publish an unstintingly funny (unintentionally, of course) article entitled Heavy metals discussions reveal striking state of denial in the minds of some natural products consumers, in which he had the chutzpah to state, “You can’t pick and choose which laws of chemistry you want to be true,” and then follow the section of his article following that title with a claim like, “There is also convincing evidence that at least some people are able to truly live off nothing more than sunlight and air.”
Uh, the laws of chemistry and physics say that living off of nothing more than sunlight and air is impossible for a mammal like humans. Mikey really needs to take his own advice. But I digress…
Yesterday, the old Mikey was back. Gone was the Mikey ruthlessly trying to eliminate his natural foods competitors by “revealing” horrible chemicals and heavy metals in their products, and back was the utterly nutty conspiracy true believer that we’ve all come to know and love. The old Mikey was back in the form of an article entitled Battle for humanity nearly lost: global food supply deliberately engineered to end life, not nourish it. To drive the point home, right next to the title is a picture of a man wearing a hazmat suit and a gas mask. As if that weren’t enough, the second paragraph . . .
MANCHESTER, NH—Claiming that the evidence is in plain sight for those who want to see it, local man and passionate 9/11 Truth movement supporter Victor Sidwell, 32, told reporters Wednesday that he will not rest until everyone knows that he is a complete asshole.
The zealous Truther, who for more than 10 years has reportedly labored to shed light on the fact that he is an obnoxious blowhard seemingly incapable of keeping his fucking mouth shut, vowed to continue lecturing acquaintances, confronting strangers, and handing out pamphlets on the street in an effort to convince as many people as possible that he’s an absolute and utter prick.
“Ever since the so-called terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, I’ve only had one goal in mind: making people realize that I’m a piece of shit,” said Sidwell while posting a lengthy list of inconsistencies in the 9/11 Commission Report on a friend’s Facebook timeline. “If you take even a cursory look at the available information, it becomes glaringly obvious that I’m an abrasive jackass who routinely drowns out anyone unfortunate enough to get locked into a discussion with me.”
“The proof is right there,” he continued. “I’m a repugnant, grating fuck, and I won’t stop until every single person knows it.”
Sidwell has reportedly gone to great lengths to publicize his position as an insufferable loudmouth by diverting every one of his conversations toward the melting point of structural steel, repeatedly calling in to talk radio shows to express his controversial beliefs as to what “really happened” on Flight 93, and placing “What Did Cheney Know?” stickers in bathrooms of numerous local businesses.
Speaking with reporters, the staunch proponent of the “controlled demolition” 9/11 conspiracy theory conceded that it is not always easy making those around him recognize that he is an unapologetic bastard who needs to shut the fuck up and get a life. Sidwell affirmed that, in spite of the challenges, he remains determined to “give a wake-up call” regarding his supreme dickishness to everyone he meets by forcibly engaging them in debates in office break rooms, personal residences, bars, internet message boards, and grocery store checkout lines.
According to the Truther, most of the public remains “trapped inside a bubble” in which they ignorantly perceive him as a rational, well-adjusted member of society. However, he claimed he is making notable progress in convincing more and more of them of the “cold, hard reality” every time he loudly interrupts a friend’s conversation in order to voice his suspicions concerning the whereabouts of the hijacked airliners’ missing black boxes.
Nothing conspiratorial here, just a VERY FUNNY video!
NEW YORK—Academy Award-winning director Oliver Stone said Monday that his new film World Trade Center unveils “compelling and controversial” new evidence that a single plane was responsible for all four collisions in New York, Washington, D.C., and Pennsylvania on Sept. 11, 2001.
“Get ready to go through the looking glass here, people,” Stone told reporters at a Manhattan press conference before an advance screening of the movie, which premieres Wednesday. “The film you are about to see is going to blow the lid off the 9/11 Commission’s official report and expose a conspiracy that reaches the highest levels of government.”
World Trade Center, which stars Nicolas Cage as a dedicated Port Authority officer who stumbles on secret evidence amid the rubble and carnage of the terrorist attack, tells a story quite different from what Stone called “the official government line” about the event. According to the film, at 8:46 a.m., a lone commercial airliner flew diagonally through the North Tower of the World Trade Center, maintained a circular holding pattern for approximately 17 minutes, then struck the South Tower before heading to the Pentagon.
After its collision with the center of American military operations, the so-called “magic plane”—which variously and ingeniously identified itself to air-traffic controllers as “American Airlines Flight 11,”
“United Airlines Flight 175,” “American Airlines Flight 77″ and “United Airlines Flight 93″—took to the skies once again, landing at a top-secret “black-ops” Air Force base in West Virginia, where it was reloaded with a group of clones from another shadowy government program that Stone described as “shocking.”
Stone, who said he did not have time to explore the clone angle in the three-and-a-half-hour film, plans to do so in the sequel, September 12.
In a gripping sequence, undercover agents transmit pre-recorded cell-phone messages intended to fool loved ones and relatives with a false cover story as the aircraft heads to its final, prearranged crash site in the fields of southwestern Pennsylvania.
Viewers of the advance screening agreed that the most striking and pivotal scene was Cage’s character’s discovery of . . .
MORE . . .
Last year I started putting up on this page one video per week.
Now I’ve had a lot of videos on here that were just great, and today I’ve decided to have a look back at what I consider to be the five best videos of the week for 2013:
5. Alex Jones As Alien Lizard Explains Obamacare
Probably every skeptic around the world knows who Alex Jones. While many skeptic bloggers have at least written up a couple of articles to either discredit him and/or show what kind of a fool he is, still by far the best person to discredit Alex Jones and to make him look like a fool… is Alex Jones.
This clip from Right Wing Watch’s Youtube page clearly shows why that’s true:
4. Debunking 9/11 conspiracy theorists part 6 of 7 – The psychology behind a 9/11 truther
From late 2012 to early 2013 Myles Power created a seven part series that is in my opinion one of the best 9/11 conspiracy theory debunking videos that I have ever seen, and the sixth video in the series, which explains the psychology and mindset of a 9/11 Truther, and infact most conspiracy theorists, could have itself been a stand alone video apart from the series.
Attention All Psychics!!!
This is your chance!!!!!
How would you like to silence your critics once and for
all while becoming very, VERY rich in the process?
To all persons claiming psychic abilities,
I have been very critical of your claims over the years. I think i usually refer to your claims as fraudulent and i refer to you, the person making the claims, as either a scam artist or delusional.
But being the fair-minded person that i am, i want to make you aware of an awesome opportunity for you to not only prove all your critics wrong once and for all by demonstrating that your miracle abilities are real, but you’ll also become a billionaire in the process!!!!
What an opportunity! A billionaire!
All you need to do is fill out a perfect 2014 Men’s NCAA Tournament bracket! How will this make you rich? Because Warren Buffett will award anyone who fills out a perfect 2014 Men’s NCAA Tournament bracket with $1 billion.
That’s it! That’s all you need to do to win $1,000,000,000.00! How much simpler can it be to shut down your critics AND get rich!
But wait! There’s more! … it doesn’t cost a dime to fill it out and the odds are only 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 (1 in 9.2 quintillion)!!! That may seem like really bad odds, but i’m confident your psychic abilities can even those odds and allow you to bring home the bacon!!
You’re welcome and enjoy your new found wealth!!!
Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
P.S. Shouldn’t you have known about this special offer before i mentioned it here? Just saying.
Yesterday I came across the world’s dumbest conspiracy theory.
I know I’ve said this before. I said this about the claim that President Obama was selling us out to the Canadians. I said this about the claim that CERN was designed to reawaken the Egyptian god Osiris. I said this about the claim that Siri was programmed to open the Gates of Hell this coming July.
Each time, I thought we’d reached some kind of Conspiracy Theory Nirvana, that there was no way anyone could come up with something more completely ridiculous.
I was wrong.
Yesterday, I ran across a conspiracy theory that is so perfect in its absurdity that it almost reads like some kind of bizarre work of art. You ready?
Dinosaurs never existed. The whole thing is an elaborate hoax designed to give us the impression that organisms have evolved. All the fossils ever “found” were either manufactured from plaster (“Is it possible,” the author writes, “that dinosaur skeleton replica are secretly assembled or manufactured in private buildings out of public view, with bones artificially constructed or used from a number of different modern-day animals? Why bother having any authentic original fossils at all if alleged replicas can please the public?”) or are assembled from the bones of contemporary animals.
Along the way, we learn that (1) radiometric dating is a method fabricated to give the dinosaur claim credibility, (2) fossilization is impossible, (3) the biblical creation story is true and the Earth is about 6,000 years old, and (4) paleontologists are big fat liars. All of the evidence, in the form of fossil beds such as the ones at Dinosaur National Monument and the extensive fossil-rich strata in North and South Dakota, were planted there. “Finds of huge quantities of fossils in one area, or by one or few people, goes against the laws of natural probability,” we are told, despite the fact that once something occurs, the probability of its having occurred is 100%.
But so far, there’s nothing much to set this apart from your usual run of creationist nonsense. The pièce de resistance, though, is who they think is behind all of this falsehood, duplicity, and deception. Who is it that has invented all of these fake “theories” about radioactive decay, geostratigraphy, and evolutionary descent? Who planted all of these artificial fossils all around the world?
Are you one of those who is eager for the End Time to begin, so you can get raptured away and watch God pour out his wrath on the unrighteous from the catered sky box of Heaven? If not, you probably agree with me that the whole Mark of the Beast thing is pretty stupid. Here are five reasons why.
An experiment to find out whether time travellers might give themselves away on social networks by referring to events which had not happened yet, has failed to find anyone from the future
Time travellers probably do not exist or, at least, they do not use social networks, a team of scientists has declared.
Researchers predicted that if humans in the future had discovered a way to visit the past they might leave clues on websites like Twitter and Facebook by inadvertently mentioning events which had not yet happened.
Astrophysicist Robert Nemiroff of Michigan Technological University and his team decided to trawl the internet in the hope of ‘teasing out’ time travellers.
They selected search terms relating to two recent phenomena, Pope Francis and Comet ISON, and began looking for references to them before they were known to exist on Google, Bing, Facebook and Twitter.
In the case of Comet ISON, there were no mentions before it burst on the scene in September 2012.
They discovered only one blog post referencing a Pope Francis before Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected head of the Catholic Church on March 16, but it seemed more accidental that prescient.
“In our limited search we turned up nothing,” Nemiroff said. “I didn’t really think we would.
“But I’m still not aware of anyone undertaking a search like this.
“The Internet is essentially a vast database, and I thought that if time travellers were here, their existence would have already come out in some other way, maybe by posting winning lottery numbers before they were selected. “
Introduction by Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
You might remember the crop circle that suddenly appeared 11 miles southeast of Salinas, California on or about December 28, 2013. As usual, every UFOlogist and woomaster went nuts speculating on the deeper meaning of this symbol – especially as it might pertain to the new year and some kind of cataclysmic event or some kind of awakening. (Woomeisters always predict doom and gloom or some kind of awakening. It’s in their handbook.)
According to one “expert”, the Salinas Crop Circle:
«… contains three coded messages according to renowned crop circle researcher, Dr Horace Drew. According to Dr Drew, a retired molecular biologist who worked at Caltech and Australia’s CSIRO, one of the coded messages was to be vigilant about an upcoming astronomical event. The next message referred to a date in the near future when an astronomical event is to occur by July 8, 2014. The third and most startling message was that comet ISON was a space transportation system. Taken in their entirety, the three messages appear to be encouraging people to watch the skies for an upcoming astronomical event featuring remnants of ISON that will in fact be an extraterrestrial event of some kind.» (source)
You have to love it when an appeal to authority (a retired molecular biologist who worked at Caltech and Australia’s CSIRO) goes horribly wrong.
Another crop researcher Paul Jacobs, who began investigating the Salinas crop circle:
«No one in the area has made claim to it and the locals had no knowledge of it or its construction. I estimate it would have taken three men working in daylight conditions doing 9-hour shifts for nearly 9 days to complete this pattern. My gut feeling is we have an important event on our hands here.» (source)
Even KSBW Action News 8 wasted airtime deciphering this “mystery”:
So, is the truth out there? If so, where is it?
Well Fox Mulder, the truth is not out there. The truth is right here, on earth … the crop circle was created by the aliens at Nvidia.
«In case you’re not a gamer and don’t know what Nvidia is, the company is headquartered in Santa Clara and pioneers visual computing — the art and science of computer graphics. The crop circle was drawn in the shape of Nvidia’s 192-core super chip, called Tegra K1, and the artists said it was challenging to create.
«Nvidia CEO Jen Hsun Huang made his confession Sunday night in Las Vegas at International CES, the technology industry’s annual gadget show. While news of the crop circles spread as far as Mongolia in central Asia, Huang credited KSBW reporter Michelle Imperato with “cracking the code.”» (source)
Nvidia CEO Jen Hsun Huang discussing the Salinas Crop Circle:
There you have it. Enjoy the following article :)
I can’t resist this excellent example of the human capacity for ad-hoc reasoning and pattern recognition. The Salinas Crop Circle was discovered in late December, and instantly became famous in the crop circle world. It is an example of a complex design, that begs to be interpreted.
Crop circle believers – those who think the designs that are often found drawn in various crops around the world (curiously following cultural lines) are the product of aliens trying to communicate in their abstruse way with humans, like to find meaning in the crop circles. This becomes an exercise in pattern recognition, as they are often trying to find meaning where none exists.
Here is one example. The author, assuming the crop circle is an alien communication, comes up with an elaborate interpretation. He believes it refers to comet ISON, which recently burned up on its journey around the sun. This itself is a good example of “retrodicting.” I would be more impressed if a crop circle predicted something yet to be discovered.
The author interprets that middle square section with dots as braille and comes up with the number 192. It turns out, this is a correct interpretation (more below). He writes:
Its first inner code shows a brief message in Braille saying “192-192-2-192-1-192-192”. This may be a symbolic reference to the British search engine “192.com” (see http://www.192.com). Its implication might be that “the blind will see, and those who search will find”
He tells us 192 is a mystical number that comes up frequently in crop circles. He also interprets some damage to the crops as a comet, the circles around the outer edge as either planets or at marketing the numbers on a clock, and:
Its third intermediate code involves a series of alphabetic characters in Morse code. They seem to read: “E-T B I-S-O-N S-T-S One interpretation of this cryptic message might be: “E T B(e)” or “extra-terrestrials exist”. Then “I-S-O-N (comet)” is an “S-T-S (space transportation system)” like for the NASA space shuttles.
What is interesting is how compelling it seems to us when we can find patterns, especially complex ones. We tend to react as if the fact that we can find a pattern means that it is real. We inherently lack an intuitive understanding of the power of data mining. In other words – we fail to appreciate the possible number of patterns that we can see when we use open-ended criteria. There are countless possible patterns, and the fact that we hit upon one or more means nothing – except that we are good at finding patterns and connections.
This is one of those uncommon cases where we have a definitive answer in the end, which is what makes it such a powerful example. The crop circle was actually commissioned by NVIDIA as a promotional stunt for their new mobile graphics chip. Here is a video of the making of the crop circle:
True believers might try to deny this evidence by saying it occurred after the fact as a distraction, but that is simply not possible. There would not have been time to fake this video, and to come up with an alternate interpretation of the design that so clearly matches NVIDIA’s new chip.
For example, the 192 in braille is accurate, but the 192 refers to the number of processors in the chip. There is a reason why 192 might crop up frequently in the context of computers – because it is 64 x 3, and 64 is a multiple of 8. Because of how computers are built, you will notice that from kilobytes to terabytes, hard drives, flash drives, RAM, etc. all come in such multiples – 64, 128, 256, 512, etc.
It’s interesting that crop circle believers have come to believe that the gray aliens like to communicate in braille. Apparently, so do human crop circle artists.
Watch the video for the full explanation of the meaning in the crop circle. And then see how clever people can be in coming up with alternate interpretations. I guess this is a post-modern approach to crop circles as a narrative form.
On that point – also pay attention to the words of the crop circle artists interviewed in the NVIDIA video. They say, essentially, that part of their art form is creating the crop circles in the context of mystery. It is a collaboration with the crop circle believers, who provide the “other worldly” context and interpretation of their art.
Another artist also says that complex mathematical designs, the ones that look as if they have really complex relationships, are actually the easiest to lay out and create.
This always reminds me of my personal encounter with a crop circle believer who challenged me by saying, “how can they create perfect circles? That’s impossible.” I then introduced her to the concept of a compass, the crop circle equivalent of which is a stake and a rope.
Simple techniques can create mathematical perfection and complexity. That is sort-of the nature of math and geometry, which is all about relationships. These relationships create countless patterns, and believers can plumb the depths of those patterns to their endless satisfaction.
Step 1: Start with the premise that any tragic incident is a massive, intricate government conspiracy.
Step 2: Denounce any information presented by a mainstream, non-conspiracy source that directly counters the predetermined conspiracy narrative as corrupt and part of the conspiracy.
Step 3: Monitor these same mainstream sources for information that supports the predetermined conspiracy narrative, even if only remotely. Mainstream media reporting mistakes that support your conspiracy (or any conspiracy really) must be treated as rare moments of truth, glimpses inside the Matrix. Any mainstream media reports in favor of the conspiracy should be treated like the word of God. Spam that information everywhere.
Step 4: Imagination is the same thing as undeniable fact. There is nothing wrong with manipulating Youtube videos and using Photoshop to edit information to make it more obvious for the stupid sheeple to understand.
Step 5: Reject the skeptics to the conspiracy theories aggressively. Call them out for being sheep, shills, Cointelpro, paid agents, et cetera. Do not ever doubt yourself, because if you think they are any of these nouns, then it is undeniably true. After all, the conspiracy theory you are trying to wake the world up to is a fact. Only a sheep would think otherwise.
Step 6: Bring up the founding of the Federal Reserve, the Bay of Pigs, The Gulf of Tonkin, and other well known deceptive schemes by the government often (every conversation if need be.) These actions were confessed by government, therefore every other conspiracy theory is true!
Step 7: Cite declassified documents often, as they are invaluable. If the government reports that a secret program was started and ended 60 years ago- DO NOT BELIEVE THEM. The secret programs for sure are still occurring and are now more massive, sinister, and successful than before.
Step 8: Remember that most of witnesses and victims involved in conspiracy event are actors. Medical examiners, emergency responders, the police, reporters, they are almost all in on it. The innocent people caught up in the conspiracy were either killed or have been threatened by the conspirators and are too afraid to come forward (or they possibly never existed to begin with.)
Step 9: Blitz the world with the truth until everyone deletes you on Facebook or you are banned from your favorite web sites. Lay low for a period, regroup at your favorite alternative web sites, get encouragement and reinforcement from the other awakened truth seekers, and start the process all over again with a new conspiracy.
RICHMOND — Chemtrails were proven to be fact and not mere urban legend after recent Snowden revelations, as photographers around the country captured proven weather modifying chemtrails and shared them on Social Media web sites. However, debate still rages on as to the purpose of chemtrails and as to just who “they” might be spraying the chemtrails.
Darryl Cox, 42, said the skies over Roanoke, Va. were “literally criss-crossed” with poisonous chemtrails – jet plumes, or “contrails” emanating from the exhaust ports of military and commercial jet-liners – and said he no longer feels safe living in the Shenandoah Valley. Cox describes Southwest Va. as a “hotbed” of chemical testing activity.
“Do chemtrails exist? Yes, they do,” said Cox. “But what is the government doing, and is it really even the government? My opinion is and always has been that these damn chemtrails are the work of the airline industry to engineer the air for the benefit of their fuel economy. I figure it don’t take much sprayin’ so’s that the part of the atmosphere they fly through would calm down real quick like. I mean they got control a everything, I tell you.”
Va. Governor-elect Terry McAuliffe (D) said he “does not intend” to constrain commercial air activity over Va., adding that the airline industry is a large source of revenue for the conservative state.
Cox explained that “lizard-people,” like McAuliffe, must eventually answer to the public for their transgressions against the well-being of the electorate.
“I swore to God that I seen them sprayin’ out here just the other day and I’ll tell you now, that was no ‘contrail.’ That there was my death at the hands of the lizard people. Ain’t you never heard about them lizard people? They’ll look just like anyone else, maybe their face a little slack-like. I seen ‘em every damn day. Every damn day. They doin’ this, you seen ‘em breathe it on in like they like it. Like it’s a nice fresh day outside, when chemtrails are rainin’ in.”
It is perhaps no coincidence, then, that Gov. McAuliffe resembles a lizard.
An examination of some questionable events and circumstances leading up to the destruction of the Death Star, through the eyes of an amateur investigative journalist within the Star Wars galaxy. The focus is mainly on the connections between the people who created and operated the Death Star and those responsible for destroying it.
- Death Star 9/11 Conspiracy: Inside Job (satirical) (topinfopost.com)
- The Lego Death Star – Coolest Christmas Toy Ever (meetthemagic.com)
- How one conspiracy theorist decided to stop being such an unmitigated moron [Interesting] (fark.com)
By Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)
As the year 2013 comes to a close, it seems only appropriate that we take a look back at some of the wisdom and predictions heaped upon us just 12 months ago by one of this country’s leading intellectuals – little Mikey Adams from Natural News – and see how accurate this wizard of wonder (As in, “I wonder why people believe anything he says.”) was with foretelling the events of 2013.
First off, Mikey has removed the page where he had posted his predictions.
So, failure #1: he failed to predict his own humiliation when his 2013 predictions would prove to be so devastatingly wrong that he’s forced to remove his own predictions page from his own website.
Failure #2: he failed to predict somebody like me would save a PDF copy of his predictions – just to amuse the world at his expense. (Note: It has since come to my attention that a copy of his predictions can still be found at that other loon site, prisonplanet.com)
I’ll let the good people at Skeptic Project handle the other failures, below.
A look back at Natural News’ 20 Predictions for 2013
By Clock, via the Skeptic Project
Prediction: 2013 will be 1984 on steroids
Prediction #1: The global debt collapse arrives
Prediction #2: Obama administration attempts to gut the Second Amendment
Prediction #3: Martial Law declared across America
Prediction #4: Extreme shortages of guns, ammo, magazines as their barter value skyrockets
Prediction #5: Tactical weapon strikes target Iran
Prediction #6: Massive false flag attack carried out in USA and blamed on patriots
Prediction #7: DHS arms the TSA and begins insane abuses of Americans on roadway checkpoints
Prediction #8: The rise of the Resistance: Secret resistance groups begin to form across America
Prediction #9: Attacks on the First Amendment accelerate as government seizes websites
Prediction #10: The rise of violent rhetoric among the population as disagreements turn to threats
Prediction #11: Global government makes its move
Prediction #12: Accelerated mainstream media attacks on patriots, preppers and veterans
- Locations and Nature of the Upcoming False Flag Attacks (pakalertpress.com)
- False Flag Attack In The Gulf Region Again? See The Mind Blowing Evidence (jhaines6.wordpress.com)
- A Devastating False Flag Attack Event Is Coming Our Way (sgtreport.com)
- Locations And Nature Of The Upcoming False Flag Attacks (thesleuthjournal.com)
- Dave Hodges Exposes The Locations and Nature of the Upcoming FALSE FLAG ATTACKS (secretsofthefed.com)
- BREAKING! A Devastating False Flag Attack Event Is Coming Our Way (thesleuthjournal.com)
- The Boston marathon bombing was a false flag perpetrated by the… (priceofliberty.tumblr.com)
- 2014 Predictions (sgtreport.com)
- Anonymous Predicts A “False Flag” Attack On CitiBank Building In LA Today (youviewed.com)