There are times that I think the woo-woos are engaging in an elaborate game of self-parody, just to see how far they can push us skeptics before we realize that it’s all a huge joke.
Or at least, I live in that hope, because it’s better than the alternative, which is that these people are serious whackjobs. Take, for example, the case of the astrologer who recently commented on a crop circle that occurred in 2011 near Stonehenge:
Those of you are are aficionados of punk rock may recognize this as the logo of Crass (to the right), a punk rock band formed in the 1970s that was involved in the anarchic/political end of the punk spectrum, and which produced several albums, including the memorable Penis Envy.
Not much doubt, is there? Some wag with a taste for punk and way too much free time decided to make a crop circle as an homage to his (or her) favorite band. As we’ve seen before, crop circles can be generated in short order as long as you have some kind of device to orient yourself and a piece of plywood with which to flatten the crops. No other explanation necessary, not that we’d be likely to look for one given that it’d be an odd alien race that would come all the light years to Earth and leave behind a punk rock logo as their only communiqué.
That point, however, apparently flew past astrologer Donna Provancher so quickly that it didn’t even ruffle her hair. Excuse me, though; Provancher isn’t an astrologer, she says she’s an “astronomologer.” What, exactly, is an “astronomologer,” you may be asking? In her words, “astronomology is the practice of astrology using astronomy to build the chart and supply new insights.”
Which doesn’t sound that different from astrology, frankly. It’s as if I decided to open a practice doing Tarot card readings and started calling it “Tarothematics” because the Tarot cards have numbers on them, and expected that people should take me more seriously than the ordinary Tarot card readers because of it.
Be that as it may, Provancher was just enthralled by the crop circle, and had a wonderful explanation of what it meant. None of which, I hasten to say, had anything to do with punk rock. Here’s Provancher’s explanation . . .
By Rob Waugh via Yahoo News UK
Are UFO experts being murdered? New book to investigate ‘pattern’ of deaths
A crop circle researcher found floating in the sea and the rapid decline of a UFO expert who believed he had found an alien skull, are the latest in what some claim is a ‘pattern’ of suspicious deaths of UFO experts.
A crop circle researcher found floating off the coast of Portsmouth and the rapid decline of a UFO expert who believed he had found an alien skull, are the latest in what some UFO researchers claim is a ‘pattern’ of suspicious deaths of researchers into extraterrestrial sightings, stretching back to as early as 1947.
A plane supposedly shot down by the U.S. military is believed to have been carrying fragments of a flying saucer, while the death of first U.S. Secretary of Defense, James Forrestal, is believed to be UFO related. Some believe that victims number in their dozens.
The pattern of suspicious deaths hit the headlines again this year as activist Steve Bassett spoke on the subject on national radio show C2C in America. A new book, Close Encounters of the Fatal Kind by Nick Redfern, is due out this summer.
“Recent cases include, 44-year-old Paul Vigay, who was a leading crop circle researcher who had worked on Mel Gibson’s film Signs. He was found floating off the coast of Portsmouth, Hants., in February 2009,” says Nigel Watson, author of The Haynes UFO Investigations Manual.
Watson says that while many UFO researchers believe the killings to be the work of government agents, some believe that the killings may be the work of aliens themselves, to cover up their presence on our planet.
“Many of these cases could be coincidences or people trying to make something out of nothing – but there are certainly some strange incidents,” Watson says. “UFO researcher Philip Schneider’s became increasingly fearful for his personal safety; ‘government vans’ followed him and several attempts were made to run his car off the road. Eventually, his worst fears were confirmed in January 1996. A friend broke into his apartment in Willsonville, Oregon, where his dead body had been rotting for several days. At first, it was thought he had died from a stroke, and then an autopsy found that rubber tubing had been wrapped and knotted around his neck.”
Our world is full of things no one can explain, from mysterious ancient artifacts to really, really basic stuff we totally should have figured out by now. But once in a while, we do find an answer to one of these fascinating mysteries, and that answer is “just plain old stupid bullshit.” Here are four intriguing questions that should’ve remained unanswered (or just four unnecessarily elaborate cover-ups that prove the government has a sense of whimsy).
#4. “River of Blood” Turns Out to Be an Ink Spill
In late December, residents of the English village of Moulton were left somewhat confused and extremely creeped out when they woke up one morning and found that their local brook had been stained with the blood-red shades of murder. Or murders, because seriously, that’s a fuckload of red.
The villagers rushed to their laptops and informed various social media outlets of their running river of blood, some comparing it to a horror film and others quoting the Book of Revelations, fearing that it was the first sign of the apocalypse. So what was it? A bleeding whale? A serial killer convention? That creepy clown that recently showed up nearby? Nope, the red coloration was caused by nothing other than an ink spill. So the world won’t end, but the villagers may have to endure a red pen shortage for the next decade.
#3. Mysterious Crop Circle Is Just a Publicity Stunt
Another strange event at the end of 2013 that made people think the Mayans may have been off by a year was the mysterious crop circle that popped up in a farmer’s barley field in Chualar, California. The design was so intricately done that the farmer told CNN that he was “baffled” by its appearance.
Naturally, as soon as the story broke, crop circle experts all over the Internet wrote in-depth analyses that claimed to have decoded the secret alien message in the fields, with some of these Fox Mulders declaring that it meant a bright comet would appear this year (presumably foreshadowing some dragons). It was at this point that tech company Nvidia couldn’t contain its giggling any longer and revealed that the crop circle was actually a marketing stunt promoting their latest processing chip. It’s unclear if the farmer was in on the joke or if those dicks stomped his barley without telling him.
via The Soap Box
Crop circles. For decades now they’ve been appearing in crop fields around the world. Sometimes they’re small, simple circles. Sometimes they are enormous and complex, and contain multiple different shapes. While there are many things I’ve noticed about crop circles, I have narrowed it down to five things.
So here are things I’ve noticed about crop circles.
5. They’re a poor way to communicate.
If aliens really are making these geometric shapes in fields of barley and wheat as a means to communicate with humans (as what many people who still believe that crop circles are made by aliens claim) then it really has to be the worst way to communicate with another intelligent species.
Beside the fact that whomever makes these things would require the people that they are intended for to be able to fly somehow (which is of course easy for us now) it would also require those people to have an understanding of what those shapes mean. That is of course if those shapes have any meaning to them at all…
To simply put, it would be far easier and less confusing for aliens to land in a public area and start talking to people than it would to putting shapes in a field of crops.
4. It’s vandalism.
Regardless of whether or not it’s bored human who want to create a giant piece of art, or aliens from a distant planet trying to communicate with up in the worst possible way, it’s still vandalism, and it’s not only damaging a part of a person’s property, it’s also destroying a part of a person’s livelihood, and it’s destroying food.
I would think that any beings that were advanced enough to build space ships that could cross hundreds, if not thousands of light years, would at the very least know it’s not nice to destroy another species food even if it was to send a message (that no one can figure out).
I would say that I would like to know what kind of species makes these crop circles, but I already know which species makes these crop circles, because…
3. We make them.
Yes, despite what many people believe, crop circles are in fact made by humans. It doesn’t matter how large or complex they are, human beings (sometimes many human beings at once) are the ones who are making these things.
Not only is it known that humans make them, it’s been known for over 20 years that humans make them (and it was greatly suspected even when crop circles first started appearing in the 70’s that they were made by humans). There’s even videos on Youtube showing how to make crop circles:
- Aliens Exist and Don’t Like Our Nuclear Weapons (takingourplanetback.wordpress.com)
- New crop circle in Robella, Italy gives formula for energy? (sott.net)
- UFO SIGHTINGS DAILY: UPDATE: Binary Message In Crop Circle Solved….Discovered In Italy, July 2013. (2012indyinfo.com)
- New Crop Circle: Look Familiar? Two New Crop Circles In Italy Within Days (tatoott1009.com)
- Crop Circles 2013 (jenniferwhidden.wordpress.com)
- latest crop circles uk 2013 (educationbulletinboard.com)
- Crop Circle, 2007 (gooddenoughs.wordpress.com)
- THIS WEEKEND … Our 18th Annual Crop Circle Conference – BOOK NOW – The WCCSG website is about crop circles. (inquiringminds.cc)
- Aliens Are Telling Us To Chill Out (talesfromthelou.wordpress.com)
By Benjamin Radford via LiveScience
When a four-part crop circle pattern roughly resembling a Mickey Mouse head appeared last week in a wheat field outside of Seattle, Wash., farmers Greg and Cindy Geib were surprised — but not shocked.
After all, it was not the first crop circle in the area; several others had appeared in previous years, mostly chalked up to mischievous youth. The pattern was noticed by a neighbor driving on a nearby highway who soon called the Geibs on July 24 and told them they’d been punk’d. The mysterious circle had apparently been made overnight, with no obvious signs of hoaxing.
People are always surprised by crop circles (especially when it happens to them), but in fact they’re not as rare as often assumed: According to an article by Richard Taylor published in “Physics World” (August 2011), “these patterns appear around the world at a rate of one every evening,” making them literally an everyday event.
Many hundreds of crop circles have appeared over the years, usually in hotspots like Great Britain, and according to Taylor their designs are getting ever more complex as a result of the technology available to crop-circle artists.
Theories & explanations
Crop-circle enthusiasts have come up with many theories about what creates the patterns, ranging from the plausible to the patently absurd. One explanation in vogue in the early 1980s was that the circles were …
… continue reading: Washington Crop Circle Surprising, But Typical | LiveScience.
- Crop circles appear in wheat field near Wilbur (nwcn.com)
- Crop Circles Appear in Wilbur, Washington Wheat Field (sott.net)
- “How Crop Circles Work” (illuminutti.com)
- Crop Circles Appear In Washington (personalliberty.com)
The sun sets on a field in southern England. When it rises again the following morning, that field has been transformed into an enormous work of art. A large section of the crop has been tamped into a pattern of circles, rings and other intricate geometric shapes. But who created it?
Are crop circles the work of alien visitors? Are they a natural phenomenon, created by electrically charged currents of air? Or are they elaborate hoaxes perpetrated by savvy, talented and very determined circlemakers? Believers and naysayers each have their own theories, but the truth remains elusive.
Keep Reading: HowStuffWorks “How Crop Circles Work”.