One of my regular debate topics on the forums i visit has to do with the chemtrail conspiracy theory.
Chemtrail conspiracists believe “some trails left by aircraft are chemical or biological agents deliberately sprayed at high altitudes for purposes undisclosed to the general public in clandestine programs directed by various government officials.” (source | source)
Depending on which conspiracist you talk to, the substance(s) being sprayed ranges from barium and aluminum to uranium, radioactive cesium, radioactive thorium, human red blood cells or a slew of other dangerous substances. (source)
Then again, some conspiracists admit they don’t have the slightest clue what is being sprayed – all they know is, it’s really, really bad.
Depending on who you ask, “they” (the infamous “they”) have been spraying us for at least 15 years. In all these years, thousands of chemtrail videos, documentaries, books, lectures, radio programs and every other conceivable form of “proof” has been put out there in an attempt to convince the world chemtrails exist. Documentary makers and radio personalities are making millions peddling the chemtrail nonsense.
Yet all the evidence chemtrail conspiracists have remains anecdotal and pure speculation – lacking any direct link proving aircraft contrails are anything other than ice crystals and/or normal aircraft engine exhaust. They simply haven’t established a direct link between their claimed “symptoms” and the contrails and/or clouds in the sky.
Well, dear conspiracist, i’m here to help. Do you want to know how to prove once and for all chemtrails exist? How about directly sampling and testing the suspected clouds, contrails or jet fuel?
All these years of crying wolf and nobody thinks to sample those naughty clouds, contrails or jet fuel? Weird. Wouldn’t such lab results answer the chemtrail question once and for all? But maybe that’s the problem. Maybe the people making millions of dollars peddling this theory don’t want this mystery solved. Funny how some things become conspicuous (and suspicious) by their absence.
But lately i’ve been running into a new argument conspiracists are using as “proof” we’re being sprayed by the aircraft flying across our skies. Conspiracists are pushing the theory that chemtrails are geoengineering and there are patents for geoengineering, therefore chemtrails ARE REAL.
Question: What is a patent?
Answer: It is a property right for an invention granted by a government to the inventor. A United States patent gives inventors the right “to exclude others from making, using, offering for sale, or selling their invention throughout the United States or importing their invention into the United States” for a limited time. (source)
This is a fallacious argument. Why? Because whether geoengineering is occurring or not is completely irrelevant. Conspiracists still have the burden of proving the contrails above our head are anything more than ice crystals or contain anything other than normal aircraft engine exhaust.
Patents are not evidence of usage or existence. Geoengineering patents are not evidence that the aircraft trails and fluffy white things in the sky are anything other than contrails and clouds.
Patents are ideas. These ideas may or may not exist in the real world. A patent doesn’t mean or guarantee an idea works, exists or is currently in use.
To make my point, let’s have some fun and play in the conspiracts’ world of make believe and pretend patents really are proof of an existing, functioning, tangible technology or ability. If it’s patented it’s real!
Are you ready?
First, let’s have some fun walking through walls!!! Yes, you read correctly – we’re going to walk through walls! People really can walk through walls! Didn’t you know that? What is my proof? My proof is a patent! There is a patent called “Walking Through Walls Training System and Method” (U.S. Published Patent No. 2006/0014125) that allows (note the present tense “allows”) us to learn how to walk through walls! Is this awesome or what? This might explain a lot of burglaries.
There’s no need to fear death anymore because death is a thing of the past. It has been a thing of the past since 2005 with the publishing of the “Resurrection Burial Tomb” patent (U.S. Published Patent No. 2005/0027316). This tomb allows you to bring the dead back to life ala Dr. Frankenstein! Talk about saving on health care costs! Who needs ObamaCare now? Is this amazing or what?
But wait! There’s more!
Need an antigravity craft that can travel at speeds approaching the speed of light? Well stinky, this is your lucky day!
Antigravity craft have been here for almost 8 years, ever since U.S. Patent No. 6,960,975 was published in 2005. For all you motorheads, check out this wicked description of your new toy: “A cooled hollow superconductive shield is energized by an electromagnetic field resulting in the quantized vortices of lattice ions projecting a gravitomagnetic field that forms a spacetime curvature anomaly outside the space vehicle. The spacetime curvature imbalance, the spacetime curvature being the same as gravity, provides for the space vehicle’s propulsion. The space vehicle, surrounded by the spacetime anomaly, may move at a speed approaching the light-speed characteristic for the modified locale.”
I think you get the point. Chemtrails are patently ridiculous! 🙂