A family man (Josh Duhamel) inquires why Taco Bell doesn’t serve fries, but finds he’s bitten off more than he can chew when a sinister “Big Fries” conspiracy threatens to destroy everything he holds dear.
Who ordered the Satanist New World Order with a side of general conspiracy theories? From Pizzagate, to government-controlled weather, to the insane Piers Morgan debate, Alex Jones is seriously… interesting. WatchMojo counts down ten ridiculous Alex Jones moments.
These two videos are absolutely brutal to watch. I love it. I enjoy watching these con artists fail at their con game.
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Part 2 –
Here’s one for the FEMA camp conspiracists. The county of Fairfax, Virginia, actually has a facility for disposing of citizens!!!!! OMG! Repost this where FEMA conspiracists will see it, make some heads explode! See it for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/y7xfa3mm (Google Map).
Finally! A solution to ChemTrails and ChemClouds!!!! Ordinary vinegar!!! Vinegar dissolves ChemClouds and ChemTrails!!! Seeing is believing!!
**** LANGUAGE WARNING ****
After years of riling up the most vulnerable, desperate, and at times tin foil hat wearing and paranoid contingents in the world, Mike Adams finally comes clean.
“I’ve been making this shit up as I go. How the fuck didn’t anybody catch it?”
Adams’ wild claims about everything from vaccines being a holocaust, vaccines being a government scam, chemicals making your kids gay, or claiming that honey and water makes a great mouthwash? He’s finally admitted that he was just yanking yer’ goat.
“I started the website out as a joke, you know? Nobody could have believed all of that. I mean just look at the atrocious grammar, the videos comparing a chicken nugget to an alien landscape, my insane self-written profile, the goddamn articles themselves. It reads like satire. I mean, nobody could possibly have the cognitive dissonance to run a business like this, not publicly cite any sources, and think they have a shred of credibility, right? I’ve been pulling this whole thing off brilliantly for years.”
Adams smiles when he thinks back over his long and storied career as an organic, alternative health crusader.
Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.
Unlike Vegas, Whole Foods’ clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion… until they get to the parking lot. Then it’s war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. This driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off I catch his bumper sticker, which says ‘NAMASTE’. Poor lady didn’t even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.
As the great, sliding glass doors part I am immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cool, moist air that smells of strawberries and orchids. I leave behind the concrete jungle and enter a cornucopia of organic bliss; the land of hemp milk and honey. Seriously, think about Heaven and then think about Whole Foods; they’re basically the same.
The first thing I see is the great wall of kombucha — 42 different kinds of rotten tea. Fun fact: the word kombucha is Japanese for ‘I gizzed in your tea.’ Anyone who’s ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what I’m talking about. I believe this thing is called “The Mother,” which makes it that much creepier.
Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because I’m not rich enough to have dietary restrictions. Ever notice that you don’t meet poor people with special diet needs? A gluten intolerant house cleaner? A cab driver with Candida? Candida is what I call a rich, white person problem. You know you’ve really made it in this world when you get Candida. My personal theory is that Candida is something you get from too much hot yoga. All I’m saying is if I were a yeast, I would want to live in your yoga pants.
Next I approach the beauty aisle. There is a scary looking machine there that you put your face inside of and it tells you exactly how ugly you are.
5 Possible Answers From Science
The early 21st-century has seen a remarkable intensification in feline ownership. These animals are no longer casual bystanders in our eco-systems. They have passed that tipping point to become a global environmental phenomenon. Crossing boundaries of class, race and geography, it could be said that the cat population now has the entire planet under its ever-watchful gaze. This surge has a peculiar overlap with the introduction of Chemtrails in our skies, which has also occurred in the last 16 to 20 years.
While there is much debate about the intention of Chemtrails — with hypotheses ranging from aerial defense and depopulation to a broad plot to cripple Christianity — it’s clear that these dangerous pollutants are causing countless health problems for everyday people. In turn, these biological problems (including fatigue, asthma, skin rashes, hemorrhagic fever and immune system failure) have been witnessed in various animal populations, including domesticated dogs.
Cats, curiously enough, appear to be completely immune to this urgent medical crisis. In fact, studies show that today’s cats are healthier now than ever. This is a perplexing proposition, particularly when you consider that cats occupy the same spaces as human beings and that many are indoor and outdoor animals. Their exposure to Chemtrail-laced air is certainly equivalent to that of people. Further complicating the issue, cats seem uniquely attuned to Chemtrail clouds and take a surreal interest in following the planes pass through the skies. Many pet owners have chanced upon their felines studying these ferocious feats of geoengineering with a countenance that some would venture to describe as bemused or delighted.
So why might the cat population be immune?
1. Thick fur, padded feet and a skin rich in glycoproteins and saliva provide protection
The dense coats of fur that provide cats sleeping comfort and warmth during the cold might naturally play a role in their Chemtrails impregnability. The animals are also well-known for thorough grooming rituals, which include covering their entire bodies with a saliva rich in unique proteins that have been formed through posttranslational modification. Posttranslational modification has been noted by scientists as a calculated defense against infections caused by foreign substances, such as barium, sulfur, aluminum, cadmium. These four elements also happen to be the most commonly suspected components of Chemtrails.
2. Consumption of Chemtrails-poisoned birds has helped them develop immunity
Of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, avian species have the most immediate contact with Chemtrail sprays. Numerous reports have noted that certain species are dying off in a Silent Spring-type of scenario. As felines consume a great deal of birds, it would only stand to reason that they would be exposed to the post-digestive acids of these pollutants. As such, there is a great possibility that eating so many colonic acids would help their own immune systems adapt to the poisons. This is not the case for humans, however, as most of the chicken and duck that we eat is from the farm and not exposed to higher altitude air.
Most Conspiracy Theories are stupid. By the power of the internet they spread like wildfire and often poison discussions. But there is hope – we developed a way to debunk conspiracies in just a few seconds…
The Jade Helm Chemtrail program, also known as PC-GE234 or “Operational In-Order” has been deemed a tremendous success by military planners and by all accounts, has exceeded expectations.
“I mean, the proof is in the results,” continued Lieutenant Colonel Jake. “We had the Texas Governor calling their National Guard to ‘monitor’ Jade Helm’s activities a few weeks ago. Now the Governor is calling the President for help with the floods. I’d say that’s the kind of submission and obedience we’re looking for before the great calamity arrives in October.”
According to people in the know, which includes mostly insane people, Operation Jade Helm’s purpose is to . . .
By Mason I. Bilderberg
For the past 42 years Paris had a ban on the construction of any new tall buildings in their city. But the Paris city council has now announced they have approved the design and construction of a new skyscraper called the Triangle Tower!
Here is what it looks like:
The illuminati strikes again!!! LOL!
I honestly thought this was a joke when i first saw the story, but i’ve checked all around and this seems to be the real deal.
Forward this to your favorite conspiracist and watch them lose their s**t! LOL! I’m dying! 🙂
Read all about the new Paris skyscraper and see more pictures:
Don’t give up on this video. Watch it and listen closely, i think you’ll get a laugh out of it 🙂
Followers of Neurotology star in a music video that sings the religion’s praises in this Scientology parody.
For lyrics and more information: Saturday Night Live’s genius spoof of Scientology: Lyrics and images (Tony Ortega)