Category Archives: Humor

Chemtrails contain Dihydrogen Monoxide!!!

Related: Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division (DMRD)

Is it a cloud, a contrail or a chemtrail?

Happy Thanksgiving from Alex Jones

Top 10 Craziest Alex Jones Moments

Here’s one for the FEMA camp conspiracists.

Here’s one for the FEMA camp conspiracists. The county of Fairfax, Virginia, actually has a facility for disposing of citizens!!!!! OMG! Repost this where FEMA conspiracists will see it, make some heads explode! See it for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/y7xfa3mm (Google Map).

Kill ChemTrails With Vinegar!!!!!

Finally! A solution to ChemTrails and ChemClouds!!!! Ordinary vinegar!!! Vinegar dissolves ChemClouds and ChemTrails!!! Seeing is believing!!

Mental Illness

Flat Earth Research

Chemtrail Bastards

Amazon Echo Commericial featuring Alexa Jones

**** LANGUAGE WARNING ****

History Channel Special on Chemtrails

A teaser video for a special series that will be airing on the History Channel about chemtrails. Can’t wait for this series!

That Mitchell and Webb Look: Homeopathic A&E

How To Get To Sesame Street

Flat Earth Eclipse

Homeopathic Cure for Blindness and Deafness!

X-Files Tackles Chemtrails!

Conspiracy Cat

Movie Preview: Nightmare On Wings! (A Chemtrail Story)

Chemtrails At Night

Cosmic Cleansing

NWO CHemtrail Planners

military-planners-10_flat_03

These Are The Most Out-There Conspiracy Theories We’ve Ever Heard

One Week on a Cruise for Conspiracy Theorists

By the time intergalactic warfare historian Laura Eisenhower told me that she was secretly recruited to go to Mars, I was way past the point of being surprised. I’d simply heard so much of this kind of talk over the past few days that it seemed totally normal. It was day five of the week-long Conspira Sea Cruise, a gathering of conspiracy theorists (for lack of a better umbrella term) and 80 or so curious followers. We had all boarded a massive cruise ship to listen to the speakers’ musings and philosophies on a range of topics — ancient intergalactic warfare, crop circles, magical vibrations, chemtrails, the government’s control of the weather, alien politicians, and wishing boxes — your normal vacation chatter. conspira-sea_300pxAnd all of this was more or less unbeknownst to the other 2,900 cruise passengers who were oiled up, buffet-ready, and vacationing all around us. For my part, I was there to host and produce a video on the seminar and its characters, and thus, I had been inundated with far-out tales since the moment I stepped onboard the massive, 18-deck ship, which was, at the time that Laura and I eventually sat down by the adults-only hot tub, hurling its way, well-announced by Motown music and exhaust smoke, towards Cabo San Lucas.

It was too late, also, to have the kind of out-of-body, how-the-hell-did-I-get-here moments you might think I’d be having. (That moment had come the night before, at the cruise’s Love Boat-themed disco, where I found myself doing the Hustle, as instructed by motivational dancers, alongside the self-proclaimed leading expert on Area 51.) Instead, what happened when Laura told me that she had been contacted to go to Mars was that I nodded my head, squinted into the sun, smiled, and leaned back on my sun-deck chair, not significantly more taken by the notion of her potential inter-stellar venture than I was by, say, the whereabouts of that evening’s bingo game.

I wanted to know what Laura knew, to understand what she experienced, but I didn’t want to tiptoe further into the complicated attic of her memory by asking skeptical or damning questions, for fear of putting her too pointedly on the spot. What I came to find out was that she was targeted to “travel off-planet” by a man she dated. That she did not, in fact, fulfill the request to go to Mars because it felt like a dark journey with untrustworthy people.

Conspiracy theorists have a reputation for being angry and relentless  .   .  .

Continue Reading @ refinery29 – – –

World of Batshit – #7: Gravity

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Scientific Studies (HBO)

Chemtrail Protest

chemtrail protest_550px

Conspiracy Theorist As A Child

conspiracy theorist connect the dots

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Conspiracies

Mitchell & Webb – Conspiracy Theories.

The Conspirators: Chemtrails

By Skeptoid Media via YouTube

The New World Order conspirators discuss their “chemtrails” plan to dumb down the population by spraying aerial drugs from airliners.

Conspiracists’ Powers Combined! (meme)

Click image for larger view

Click image for larger view

Flat Earth Society meme

Source: (99) ILLuminutti – ILLuminutti added a new photo.

Conspiracist Meme

Enjoy 🙂

 

CONSPIRACIST 500px

Palmistry and Its Practical Uses

By Myles Power via YouTube

Mike Adams Stunning Confession: “You Guys Didn’t Know Natural News Was Satire?”

After years of riling up the most vulnerable, desperate, and at times tin foil hat wearing and paranoid contingents in the world, Mike Adams finally comes clean.

“I’ve been making this shit up as I go. How the fuck didn’t anybody catch it?”

Adams’ wild claims about everything from vaccines being a holocaustvaccines being a government scam, chemicals making your kids gay, or claiming that honey and water makes a great mouthwash? He’s finally admitted that he was just yanking yer’ goat.

“I started the website out as a joke, you know? Nobody could have believed all of that. I mean just look at the atrocious grammar, the videos comparing a chicken nugget to an alien landscapemy insane self-written profile, the goddamn articles themselves. It reads like satire. I mean, nobody could possibly have the cognitive dissonance to run a business like this, not publicly cite any sources, and think they have a shred of credibility, right? I’ve been pulling this whole thing off brilliantly for years.”

Adams smiles when he thinks back over his long and storied career as an organic, alternative health crusader.

Continue Reading @ SciBabe – – –

Surviving Whole Foods

Kelly MacLeanBy via huffingtonpost

Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.

Unlike Vegas, Whole Foods’ clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion… until they get to the parking lot. Then it’s war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. This driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off I catch his bumper sticker, which says ‘NAMASTE’. Poor lady didn’t even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.

homeless whole foodsAs the great, sliding glass doors part I am immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cool, moist air that smells of strawberries and orchids. I leave behind the concrete jungle and enter a cornucopia of organic bliss; the land of hemp milk and honey. Seriously, think about Heaven and then think about Whole Foods; they’re basically the same.

The first thing I see is the great wall of kombucha — 42 different kinds of rotten tea. Fun fact: the word kombucha is Japanese for ‘I gizzed in your tea.’ Anyone who’s ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what I’m talking about. I believe this thing is called “The Mother,” which makes it that much creepier.

Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because I’m not rich enough to have dietary restrictions. Ever notice that you don’t meet poor people with special diet needs? A gluten intolerant house cleaner? A cab driver with Candida? Candida is what I call a rich, white person problem. You know you’ve really made it in this world when you get Candida. My personal theory is that Candida is something you get from too much hot yoga. All I’m saying is if I were a yeast, I would want to live in your yoga pants.

Next I approach the beauty aisle. There is a scary looking machine there that you put your face inside of and it tells you exactly how ugly you are.

Continue Reading at huffingtonpost – – –


Merry Christmas!

UFO Santa

World of Batshit – #5: Space Denial

I love the “World of Batshit” series. This one is about people who deny the existence of space (wtf?).

Enjoy 🙂


By CoolHardLogic via YouTube

Part five in a series examining some of the most ridiculous claims. In this part, we look at a channel claiming (among other things) that space don’t exist.

Paul Ryan’s Weird illuminati Hand Symbol

I can’t believe i’m even writing about this, but here goes …

On October 29, 2015, Paul Ryan was sworn in as the next Speaker in the U.S. House of Representatives.

During the ceremony, Paul Ryan pointed at somebody on the house floor and then made this gesture:

Ryan Hand Gesture_0450px

What ever could it mean?

Conspiracists called it some kind of “weird hand symbol” that was “reminiscent of the illuminati symbol that’s everywhere.” (Source: https://archive.is/Mnk9d)

So i made a video to explain the hand gesture and make fun of conspiracists. Enjoy 🙂

Mason I. Bilderberg

Why Are Cats Immune to Chemtrails?

5 Possible Answers From Science

by Henricus Institor via HardDawn.com

Why do cats seem uniquely Chemtrail-aware?

Why do cats seem uniquely Chemtrail-aware?

The early 21st-century has seen a remarkable intensification in feline ownership. These animals are no longer casual bystanders in our eco-systems. They have passed that tipping point to become a global environmental phenomenon. Crossing boundaries of class, race and geography, it could be said that the cat population now has the entire planet under its ever-watchful gaze. This surge has a peculiar overlap with the introduction of Chemtrails in our skies, which has also occurred in the last 16 to 20 years.

While there is much debate about the intention of Chemtrails — with hypotheses ranging from aerial defense and depopulation to a broad plot to cripple Christianity — it’s clear that these dangerous pollutants are causing countless health problems for everyday people. In turn, these biological problems (including fatigue, asthma, skin rashes, hemorrhagic fever and immune system failure) have been witnessed in various animal populations, including domesticated dogs.

Cats, curiously enough, appear to be completely immune to this urgent medical crisis. In fact, studies show that today’s cats are healthier now than ever. This is a perplexing proposition, particularly when you consider that cats occupy the same spaces as human beings and that many are indoor and outdoor animals. Their exposure to Chemtrail-laced air is certainly equivalent to that of people. Further complicating the issue, cats seem uniquely attuned to Chemtrail clouds and take a surreal interest in following the planes pass through the skies. Many pet owners have chanced upon their felines studying these ferocious feats of geoengineering with a countenance that some would venture to describe as bemused or delighted.

cats vs chemtrails 03

The propagation of Chemtrails overlaps with skyrocketing rates of cat ownership.

So why might the cat population be immune?

1. Thick fur, padded feet and a skin rich in glycoproteins and saliva provide protection

The dense coats of fur that provide cats sleeping comfort and warmth during the cold might naturally play a role in their Chemtrails impregnability. The animals are also well-known for thorough grooming rituals, which include covering their entire bodies with a saliva rich in unique proteins that have been formed through posttranslational modification. Posttranslational modification has been noted by scientists as a calculated defense against infections caused by foreign substances, such as barium, sulfur, aluminum, cadmium. These four elements also happen to be the most commonly suspected components of Chemtrails.

2. Consumption of Chemtrails-poisoned birds has helped them develop immunity

Of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, avian species have the most immediate contact with Chemtrail sprays. Numerous reports have noted that certain species are dying off in a Silent Spring-type of scenario. As felines consume a great deal of birds, it would only stand to reason that they would be exposed to the post-digestive acids of these pollutants. As such, there is a great possibility that eating so many colonic acids would help their own immune systems adapt to the poisons. This is not the case for humans, however, as most of the chicken and duck that we eat is from the farm and not exposed to higher altitude air.

Continue reading at HardDawn.com . . .

The Ultimate Conspiracy Debunker

Via YouTube

Most Conspiracy Theories are stupid. By the power of the internet they spread like wildfire and often poison discussions. But there is hope – we developed a way to debunk conspiracies in just a few seconds…

Feeling Sorry for the EPA

By JIM SWIFT via The Weekly Standard

These days, it’s hard to feel sorry for the EPA, but a public hearing that aired on CSPAN Tuesday morning may spur some sympathy.
The hearing was on carbon emmissions standards for commercial airplanes. The hearing had many witnesses, including one Kate DeAngelis from Friends of the Earth. She was there to urge the EPA to regulate not just those big bad airplanes of the future, but the airplanes of now.
chemair 03_300pxFollowing DeAngelis was Amanda Williams Baise from Virginia Beach, Virginia. She was also there to discuss the serious threat of airplanes to our health: but to her, the emissions from planes are far more nefarious than greenhouse gases. That’s because planes emit “chemtrails.”
Chemtrails, of course, is a perjorative term for condensation trails (contrails) worried about by conspiracy theorists who think the trails of condensation left by jets flying over us are actually the government testing chemicals on the populace. The “theory” grew in prominence, and started lighting up Capitol Hill switchboards, after it was espoused by Caitlin Jenner’s daughter Kylie.
I’m reminded of a letter, part of which I remember verbatim, from my time on Capitol Hill. “I read all about those experiments in the internet. It is scary.”
Naturally, the EPA has debunked this conspiracy in a handy fact sheet. Yet, upon embarking upon this regulation of airplane-emitted greenhouse gases, New York Magazine teased in a headline: “EPA This Close to Admitting Kylie Jenner Was Right About Chemtrails.”
Amanda Williams_250px_captionedAs Ms. Baise shares her theories about “heavy metals,” the poor EPA staff try and keep a straight and serious face. At one point, Baise seriously reports on the “sage advice” an EPA employee gave her to “hire a plane and do your own testing.” Clearly, that EPA employee has a sense of humor that went unrecognized by Baise.
With the hearing a few minutes away from ending, Baise finishes up her remarks, concluding with a not-hidden sense of futility. The EPA staff are still stonefaced.
The good news is that Ms. Baise and Ms. DeAngelis are likely to get what they want before the end of Obama’s second term: regulation of chemtrails. I mean, greenhouse gases.

via The Weekly Standard


August 11, 2015 – Amanda Baise (also known as Amanda Williams and/or Madistonstar Moon) attended an EPA hearing where she said something about “chemtrails” and some other nonsense that even the EPA panel wasn’t interested in hearing.

This update brought to you by Chemtrails Are Killing Us (CAKU):
https://www.facebook.com/groups/chemt…

10 Amazing bets you will always win

By Quirkology via YouTube

World of Batshit – #4: Fake Planets

By CoolHardLogic via YouTube

Part four in a series examining some of the most ridiculous claims. In this part, we look at a channel claiming (among other things) that the planets don’t exist.

Report: Jade Helm Responsible for Texas Floods

By via Nevada County Scooper

Houston, TX — As more than 11 inches of rain fell in some spots of Houston overnight into Tuesday,  inundating byways and highways, slowing first responders, knocking out power and generally bringing the southeast Texas metropolis to a standstill, The Nevada County Scooper has learned that operation Jade Helm 15 has largely been responsible for the deluges. Although the military takeover of largely defiant Southern and Southwestern states hasn’t officially started yet, military insiders tell the Scooper that Texas flooding is was done to “soften the resistance to ‘Federal Forces’ and make the ‘resistive States more “amenable” to the guiding hand of the Federal Government’.”
GREG-ABBOTT“It was clear that the people of Texas were not going to cooperate and submit to the will of President Obama,” commented Jade Helm Lieutenant Colonel Jason “Jake” Jakeheart. “So we sent in the floods using this Chemtrail technology tested and developed by the eggheads at Beale Air Force base. They sprayed the skies for two weeks and it produced these rains.”

The Jade Helm Chemtrail program, also known as PC-GE234 or “Operational In-Order” has been deemed a tremendous success by military planners and by all accounts, has exceeded expectations.

“I mean, the proof is in the results,” continued  Lieutenant Colonel Jake. “We had the Texas Governor calling their National Guard to ‘monitor’ Jade Helm’s activities a few weeks ago. Now the Governor is calling the President for help with the floods. I’d say that’s the kind of submission and obedience we’re looking for before the great calamity arrives in October.”

According to people in the know, which includes mostly insane people, Operation Jade Helm’s purpose is to  .  .  .

Continue Reading – – –

Conspiracists are going to lose their s**t when they see this new Paris skyscraper!

By Mason I. Bilderberg

For the past 42 years Paris had a ban on the construction of any new tall buildings in their city. But the Paris city council has now announced they have approved the design and construction of a new skyscraper called the Triangle Tower!

Here is what it looks like:

Tour-Triangle

The illuminati strikes again!!! LOL!

Illuminati 12590399_200px_200px I honestly thought this was a joke when i first saw the story, but i’ve checked all around and this seems to be the real deal.

Forward this to your favorite conspiracist and watch them lose their s**t! LOL! I’m dying! 🙂

MIB

Read all about the new Paris skyscraper and see more pictures:

Google University Diploma

Here is your chance to give your favorite conspiracist his/her very own Google University diploma! Simply fill their name in on the solid line and it’s ready for presentation!

Right-click and “save as” to download. Have fun 🙂

Google University LG

Building Muscle w/ Bob: Back Edition

Don’t give up on this video. Watch it and listen closely, i think you’ll get a laugh out of it 🙂

Source: Building Muscle w/ Bob: Back Edition – YouTube

Neurotology Music Video

By Saturday Night Live via YouTube

Followers of Neurotology star in a music video that sings the religion’s praises in this Scientology parody.

For lyrics and more information: Saturday Night Live’s genius spoof of Scientology: Lyrics and images (Tony Ortega)

A Message for the Anti-Vaccine Movement

By Jimmy Kimmel Live via YouTube

Jimmy feels that all of this anti-vaccination silliness is starting to snowball, so he invited some real doctors to address it. These are actual medical professionals so hear them out and then decide for yourself.

World of Batshit – #3: Chemtrailer Trash

Though a bit lengthy (23 minutes) i found this video really entertaining and full of good information.

One caution: There is some occasional use of adult language and humor.

Enjoy 🙂

MIB


By CoolHardLogic via YouTube

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