Category Archives: Humor

ChemTrails Are Now Invisible!

ThereItIsn't 04_flat

Those Chemtrailing Bastards!

A great facebook discussion group -> CHEMTRAILS ARE KILLING US!!!!!!!

Same Sh**, Different Year.

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So i was having a written exchange with a couple of conspiracists. They were posting links ranting on and on about FEMA camps, martial law, something about foreign troops being trained to disarm Americans . . . yada, yada, yada.

You know, the same old crap.

This whole conspiracy thing seems cyclical. A new generation of conspiracy theorists stumble upon the same old, worn out, decades old conspiracy theories for the first time in their paranoid lives and they think they’ve discovered something completely new, true and worth preaching. And so they begin their new mission – running around trying to wake up the “sheeple” to their new found “truth.”

These newly stamped conspiracists then go on to spend many years spinning their wheels in the same conspiratorial muck that their conspiratorial predecessors did all those decades before.

alex_jones_googly_eyes_200pxSome of these newbies will remain in the Lost Forest for many years – beyond the reach of reason. Then there are the newbies that wise up to the con(spiracy) money game being played on them by those reaping huge profits regurgitating the same old tales of paranoia – Alex Jones comes to mind.

Every conspiracy being preached today has been preached before in some shape or form. This is the point i try to make in my exchanges with my conspiratorial friends:

  • How urgent can your message be today if it’s the same “urgent” message that has been screamed for (at least) the last 20 years?
  • Can you continuously scream “FIRE!” for decades and be taken seriously when the fire has never materialized?

As an example of what i’m talking about i have posted some screenshots below that came from the InfoWars website, October 1999. Note the similarities to today’s InfoWar headlines. Same sh**, different year.

I’ll give Alex Jones credit for one thing – he has an amazing ability to sell and resell the same crap over and over again.

You can view the InfoWars 1999 archive here or download a PDF copy i made from the archived page.

Mason I. Bilderberg

These are the kinds of links appearing on my facebook page. How can i take this seriously?

These are the kinds of links i get on my facebook page.
The video description says, “Martial law ALERT This may be your final warning.”
Really? Alex Jones has been giving us “final warnings” since (at least) 1999 (see below).


From InfoWars, October 9, 1999 (PDF copy):

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PROOF: Fluoride Kills

I recommend posting this where ever fluoride conspiracists are found, watch them go nuts. Have fun! 🙂

MIB

Click image for full size

Click image for full size

Some Flat Earth memes

Share far and wide 🙂

 

Questions for Flattards – Set 2

Some fun while we wait for Testing Flattards Part 5… It’s time for more Questions for Flattards!

Gay Frogs (Alex Jones REMIX)

Alexa, what is a chemtrail?

Alexa is asked about chemtrails. The answer will shock you!

Related –

Top 10 Ridiculous Alex Jones Moments

Who ordered the Satanist New World Order with a side of general conspiracy theories? From Pizzagate, to government-controlled weather, to the insane Piers Morgan debate, Alex Jones is seriously… interesting. WatchMojo counts down ten ridiculous Alex Jones moments.

Chemtrails contain Dihydrogen Monoxide!!!

Related: Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division (DMRD)

Is it a cloud, a contrail or a chemtrail?

Happy Thanksgiving from Alex Jones

Top 10 Craziest Alex Jones Moments

Here’s one for the FEMA camp conspiracists.

Here’s one for the FEMA camp conspiracists. The county of Fairfax, Virginia, actually has a facility for disposing of citizens!!!!! OMG! Repost this where FEMA conspiracists will see it, make some heads explode! See it for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/y7xfa3mm (Google Map).

Kill ChemTrails With Vinegar!!!!!

Finally! A solution to ChemTrails and ChemClouds!!!! Ordinary vinegar!!! Vinegar dissolves ChemClouds and ChemTrails!!! Seeing is believing!!

Mental Illness

Flat Earth Research

Chemtrail Bastards

Amazon Echo Commericial featuring Alexa Jones

**** LANGUAGE WARNING ****

History Channel Special on Chemtrails

A teaser video for a special series that will be airing on the History Channel about chemtrails. Can’t wait for this series!

That Mitchell and Webb Look: Homeopathic A&E

How To Get To Sesame Street

Flat Earth Eclipse

Homeopathic Cure for Blindness and Deafness!

X-Files Tackles Chemtrails!

Conspiracy Cat

Movie Preview: Nightmare On Wings! (A Chemtrail Story)

Chemtrails At Night

Cosmic Cleansing

NWO CHemtrail Planners

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These Are The Most Out-There Conspiracy Theories We’ve Ever Heard

One Week on a Cruise for Conspiracy Theorists

By the time intergalactic warfare historian Laura Eisenhower told me that she was secretly recruited to go to Mars, I was way past the point of being surprised. I’d simply heard so much of this kind of talk over the past few days that it seemed totally normal. It was day five of the week-long Conspira Sea Cruise, a gathering of conspiracy theorists (for lack of a better umbrella term) and 80 or so curious followers. We had all boarded a massive cruise ship to listen to the speakers’ musings and philosophies on a range of topics — ancient intergalactic warfare, crop circles, magical vibrations, chemtrails, the government’s control of the weather, alien politicians, and wishing boxes — your normal vacation chatter. conspira-sea_300pxAnd all of this was more or less unbeknownst to the other 2,900 cruise passengers who were oiled up, buffet-ready, and vacationing all around us. For my part, I was there to host and produce a video on the seminar and its characters, and thus, I had been inundated with far-out tales since the moment I stepped onboard the massive, 18-deck ship, which was, at the time that Laura and I eventually sat down by the adults-only hot tub, hurling its way, well-announced by Motown music and exhaust smoke, towards Cabo San Lucas.

It was too late, also, to have the kind of out-of-body, how-the-hell-did-I-get-here moments you might think I’d be having. (That moment had come the night before, at the cruise’s Love Boat-themed disco, where I found myself doing the Hustle, as instructed by motivational dancers, alongside the self-proclaimed leading expert on Area 51.) Instead, what happened when Laura told me that she had been contacted to go to Mars was that I nodded my head, squinted into the sun, smiled, and leaned back on my sun-deck chair, not significantly more taken by the notion of her potential inter-stellar venture than I was by, say, the whereabouts of that evening’s bingo game.

I wanted to know what Laura knew, to understand what she experienced, but I didn’t want to tiptoe further into the complicated attic of her memory by asking skeptical or damning questions, for fear of putting her too pointedly on the spot. What I came to find out was that she was targeted to “travel off-planet” by a man she dated. That she did not, in fact, fulfill the request to go to Mars because it felt like a dark journey with untrustworthy people.

Conspiracy theorists have a reputation for being angry and relentless  .   .  .

Continue Reading @ refinery29 – – –

World of Batshit – #7: Gravity

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Scientific Studies (HBO)

Chemtrail Protest

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Conspiracy Theorist As A Child

conspiracy theorist connect the dots

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Conspiracies

Mitchell & Webb – Conspiracy Theories.

The Conspirators: Chemtrails

By Skeptoid Media via YouTube

The New World Order conspirators discuss their “chemtrails” plan to dumb down the population by spraying aerial drugs from airliners.

Conspiracists’ Powers Combined! (meme)

Click image for larger view

Click image for larger view

Flat Earth Society meme

Source: (99) ILLuminutti – ILLuminutti added a new photo.

Conspiracist Meme

Enjoy 🙂

 

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Palmistry and Its Practical Uses

By Myles Power via YouTube

Mike Adams Stunning Confession: “You Guys Didn’t Know Natural News Was Satire?”

After years of riling up the most vulnerable, desperate, and at times tin foil hat wearing and paranoid contingents in the world, Mike Adams finally comes clean.

“I’ve been making this shit up as I go. How the fuck didn’t anybody catch it?”

Adams’ wild claims about everything from vaccines being a holocaustvaccines being a government scam, chemicals making your kids gay, or claiming that honey and water makes a great mouthwash? He’s finally admitted that he was just yanking yer’ goat.

“I started the website out as a joke, you know? Nobody could have believed all of that. I mean just look at the atrocious grammar, the videos comparing a chicken nugget to an alien landscapemy insane self-written profile, the goddamn articles themselves. It reads like satire. I mean, nobody could possibly have the cognitive dissonance to run a business like this, not publicly cite any sources, and think they have a shred of credibility, right? I’ve been pulling this whole thing off brilliantly for years.”

Adams smiles when he thinks back over his long and storied career as an organic, alternative health crusader.

Continue Reading @ SciBabe – – –

Surviving Whole Foods

Kelly MacLeanBy via huffingtonpost

Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.

Unlike Vegas, Whole Foods’ clientele are all about mindfulness and compassion… until they get to the parking lot. Then it’s war. As I pull up this morning, I see a pregnant lady on the crosswalk holding a baby and groceries. This driver swerves around her and honks. As he speeds off I catch his bumper sticker, which says ‘NAMASTE’. Poor lady didn’t even hear him approaching because he was driving a Prius. He crept up on her like a panther.

homeless whole foodsAs the great, sliding glass doors part I am immediately smacked in the face by a wall of cool, moist air that smells of strawberries and orchids. I leave behind the concrete jungle and enter a cornucopia of organic bliss; the land of hemp milk and honey. Seriously, think about Heaven and then think about Whole Foods; they’re basically the same.

The first thing I see is the great wall of kombucha — 42 different kinds of rotten tea. Fun fact: the word kombucha is Japanese for ‘I gizzed in your tea.’ Anyone who’s ever swallowed the glob of mucus at the end of the bottle knows exactly what I’m talking about. I believe this thing is called “The Mother,” which makes it that much creepier.

Next I see the gluten-free section filled with crackers and bread made from various wheat-substitutes such as cardboard and sawdust. I skip this aisle because I’m not rich enough to have dietary restrictions. Ever notice that you don’t meet poor people with special diet needs? A gluten intolerant house cleaner? A cab driver with Candida? Candida is what I call a rich, white person problem. You know you’ve really made it in this world when you get Candida. My personal theory is that Candida is something you get from too much hot yoga. All I’m saying is if I were a yeast, I would want to live in your yoga pants.

Next I approach the beauty aisle. There is a scary looking machine there that you put your face inside of and it tells you exactly how ugly you are.

Continue Reading at huffingtonpost – – –


Merry Christmas!

UFO Santa

World of Batshit – #5: Space Denial

I love the “World of Batshit” series. This one is about people who deny the existence of space (wtf?).

Enjoy 🙂


By CoolHardLogic via YouTube

Part five in a series examining some of the most ridiculous claims. In this part, we look at a channel claiming (among other things) that space don’t exist.

Paul Ryan’s Weird illuminati Hand Symbol

I can’t believe i’m even writing about this, but here goes …

On October 29, 2015, Paul Ryan was sworn in as the next Speaker in the U.S. House of Representatives.

During the ceremony, Paul Ryan pointed at somebody on the house floor and then made this gesture:

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What ever could it mean?

Conspiracists called it some kind of “weird hand symbol” that was “reminiscent of the illuminati symbol that’s everywhere.” (Source: https://archive.is/Mnk9d)

So i made a video to explain the hand gesture and make fun of conspiracists. Enjoy 🙂

Mason I. Bilderberg

Why Are Cats Immune to Chemtrails?

5 Possible Answers From Science

by Henricus Institor via HardDawn.com

Why do cats seem uniquely Chemtrail-aware?

Why do cats seem uniquely Chemtrail-aware?

The early 21st-century has seen a remarkable intensification in feline ownership. These animals are no longer casual bystanders in our eco-systems. They have passed that tipping point to become a global environmental phenomenon. Crossing boundaries of class, race and geography, it could be said that the cat population now has the entire planet under its ever-watchful gaze. This surge has a peculiar overlap with the introduction of Chemtrails in our skies, which has also occurred in the last 16 to 20 years.

While there is much debate about the intention of Chemtrails — with hypotheses ranging from aerial defense and depopulation to a broad plot to cripple Christianity — it’s clear that these dangerous pollutants are causing countless health problems for everyday people. In turn, these biological problems (including fatigue, asthma, skin rashes, hemorrhagic fever and immune system failure) have been witnessed in various animal populations, including domesticated dogs.

Cats, curiously enough, appear to be completely immune to this urgent medical crisis. In fact, studies show that today’s cats are healthier now than ever. This is a perplexing proposition, particularly when you consider that cats occupy the same spaces as human beings and that many are indoor and outdoor animals. Their exposure to Chemtrail-laced air is certainly equivalent to that of people. Further complicating the issue, cats seem uniquely attuned to Chemtrail clouds and take a surreal interest in following the planes pass through the skies. Many pet owners have chanced upon their felines studying these ferocious feats of geoengineering with a countenance that some would venture to describe as bemused or delighted.

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The propagation of Chemtrails overlaps with skyrocketing rates of cat ownership.

So why might the cat population be immune?

1. Thick fur, padded feet and a skin rich in glycoproteins and saliva provide protection

The dense coats of fur that provide cats sleeping comfort and warmth during the cold might naturally play a role in their Chemtrails impregnability. The animals are also well-known for thorough grooming rituals, which include covering their entire bodies with a saliva rich in unique proteins that have been formed through posttranslational modification. Posttranslational modification has been noted by scientists as a calculated defense against infections caused by foreign substances, such as barium, sulfur, aluminum, cadmium. These four elements also happen to be the most commonly suspected components of Chemtrails.

2. Consumption of Chemtrails-poisoned birds has helped them develop immunity

Of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, avian species have the most immediate contact with Chemtrail sprays. Numerous reports have noted that certain species are dying off in a Silent Spring-type of scenario. As felines consume a great deal of birds, it would only stand to reason that they would be exposed to the post-digestive acids of these pollutants. As such, there is a great possibility that eating so many colonic acids would help their own immune systems adapt to the poisons. This is not the case for humans, however, as most of the chicken and duck that we eat is from the farm and not exposed to higher altitude air.

Continue reading at HardDawn.com . . .

The Ultimate Conspiracy Debunker

Via YouTube

Most Conspiracy Theories are stupid. By the power of the internet they spread like wildfire and often poison discussions. But there is hope – we developed a way to debunk conspiracies in just a few seconds…

Feeling Sorry for the EPA

By JIM SWIFT via The Weekly Standard

These days, it’s hard to feel sorry for the EPA, but a public hearing that aired on CSPAN Tuesday morning may spur some sympathy.
The hearing was on carbon emmissions standards for commercial airplanes. The hearing had many witnesses, including one Kate DeAngelis from Friends of the Earth. She was there to urge the EPA to regulate not just those big bad airplanes of the future, but the airplanes of now.
chemair 03_300pxFollowing DeAngelis was Amanda Williams Baise from Virginia Beach, Virginia. She was also there to discuss the serious threat of airplanes to our health: but to her, the emissions from planes are far more nefarious than greenhouse gases. That’s because planes emit “chemtrails.”
Chemtrails, of course, is a perjorative term for condensation trails (contrails) worried about by conspiracy theorists who think the trails of condensation left by jets flying over us are actually the government testing chemicals on the populace. The “theory” grew in prominence, and started lighting up Capitol Hill switchboards, after it was espoused by Caitlin Jenner’s daughter Kylie.
I’m reminded of a letter, part of which I remember verbatim, from my time on Capitol Hill. “I read all about those experiments in the internet. It is scary.”
Naturally, the EPA has debunked this conspiracy in a handy fact sheet. Yet, upon embarking upon this regulation of airplane-emitted greenhouse gases, New York Magazine teased in a headline: “EPA This Close to Admitting Kylie Jenner Was Right About Chemtrails.”
Amanda Williams_250px_captionedAs Ms. Baise shares her theories about “heavy metals,” the poor EPA staff try and keep a straight and serious face. At one point, Baise seriously reports on the “sage advice” an EPA employee gave her to “hire a plane and do your own testing.” Clearly, that EPA employee has a sense of humor that went unrecognized by Baise.
With the hearing a few minutes away from ending, Baise finishes up her remarks, concluding with a not-hidden sense of futility. The EPA staff are still stonefaced.
The good news is that Ms. Baise and Ms. DeAngelis are likely to get what they want before the end of Obama’s second term: regulation of chemtrails. I mean, greenhouse gases.

via The Weekly Standard


August 11, 2015 – Amanda Baise (also known as Amanda Williams and/or Madistonstar Moon) attended an EPA hearing where she said something about “chemtrails” and some other nonsense that even the EPA panel wasn’t interested in hearing.

This update brought to you by Chemtrails Are Killing Us (CAKU):
https://www.facebook.com/groups/chemt…

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