Category Archives: Satire

Kill ChemTrails With Vinegar!!!!!

Finally! A solution to ChemTrails and ChemClouds!!!! Ordinary vinegar!!! Vinegar dissolves ChemClouds and ChemTrails!!! Seeing is believing!!

History Channel Special on Chemtrails

A teaser video for a special series that will be airing on the History Channel about chemtrails. Can’t wait for this series!

Movie Preview: Nightmare On Wings! (A Chemtrail Story)

Mike Adams Stunning Confession: “You Guys Didn’t Know Natural News Was Satire?”

After years of riling up the most vulnerable, desperate, and at times tin foil hat wearing and paranoid contingents in the world, Mike Adams finally comes clean.

“I’ve been making this shit up as I go. How the fuck didn’t anybody catch it?”

Adams’ wild claims about everything from vaccines being a holocaustvaccines being a government scam, chemicals making your kids gay, or claiming that honey and water makes a great mouthwash? He’s finally admitted that he was just yanking yer’ goat.

“I started the website out as a joke, you know? Nobody could have believed all of that. I mean just look at the atrocious grammar, the videos comparing a chicken nugget to an alien landscapemy insane self-written profile, the goddamn articles themselves. It reads like satire. I mean, nobody could possibly have the cognitive dissonance to run a business like this, not publicly cite any sources, and think they have a shred of credibility, right? I’ve been pulling this whole thing off brilliantly for years.”

Adams smiles when he thinks back over his long and storied career as an organic, alternative health crusader.

Continue Reading @ SciBabe – – –

Why Are Cats Immune to Chemtrails?

5 Possible Answers From Science

by Henricus Institor via HardDawn.com

Why do cats seem uniquely Chemtrail-aware?

Why do cats seem uniquely Chemtrail-aware?

The early 21st-century has seen a remarkable intensification in feline ownership. These animals are no longer casual bystanders in our eco-systems. They have passed that tipping point to become a global environmental phenomenon. Crossing boundaries of class, race and geography, it could be said that the cat population now has the entire planet under its ever-watchful gaze. This surge has a peculiar overlap with the introduction of Chemtrails in our skies, which has also occurred in the last 16 to 20 years.

While there is much debate about the intention of Chemtrails — with hypotheses ranging from aerial defense and depopulation to a broad plot to cripple Christianity — it’s clear that these dangerous pollutants are causing countless health problems for everyday people. In turn, these biological problems (including fatigue, asthma, skin rashes, hemorrhagic fever and immune system failure) have been witnessed in various animal populations, including domesticated dogs.

Cats, curiously enough, appear to be completely immune to this urgent medical crisis. In fact, studies show that today’s cats are healthier now than ever. This is a perplexing proposition, particularly when you consider that cats occupy the same spaces as human beings and that many are indoor and outdoor animals. Their exposure to Chemtrail-laced air is certainly equivalent to that of people. Further complicating the issue, cats seem uniquely attuned to Chemtrail clouds and take a surreal interest in following the planes pass through the skies. Many pet owners have chanced upon their felines studying these ferocious feats of geoengineering with a countenance that some would venture to describe as bemused or delighted.

cats vs chemtrails 03

The propagation of Chemtrails overlaps with skyrocketing rates of cat ownership.

So why might the cat population be immune?

1. Thick fur, padded feet and a skin rich in glycoproteins and saliva provide protection

The dense coats of fur that provide cats sleeping comfort and warmth during the cold might naturally play a role in their Chemtrails impregnability. The animals are also well-known for thorough grooming rituals, which include covering their entire bodies with a saliva rich in unique proteins that have been formed through posttranslational modification. Posttranslational modification has been noted by scientists as a calculated defense against infections caused by foreign substances, such as barium, sulfur, aluminum, cadmium. These four elements also happen to be the most commonly suspected components of Chemtrails.

2. Consumption of Chemtrails-poisoned birds has helped them develop immunity

Of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, avian species have the most immediate contact with Chemtrail sprays. Numerous reports have noted that certain species are dying off in a Silent Spring-type of scenario. As felines consume a great deal of birds, it would only stand to reason that they would be exposed to the post-digestive acids of these pollutants. As such, there is a great possibility that eating so many colonic acids would help their own immune systems adapt to the poisons. This is not the case for humans, however, as most of the chicken and duck that we eat is from the farm and not exposed to higher altitude air.

Continue reading at HardDawn.com . . .

Exclusive “Weird Al” Yankovic Music Video: FOIL Parody of “Royals” by Lorde

Just hang in until the 1:15 minute mark. You WON’T be disappointed. Trust me.

🙂

MIB


via CollegeHumor – YouTube

We partnered with “Weird Al” to create this music video for his new album, “Mandatory Fun.” Also featuring Patton Oswalt, Tom Lennon, and Robert Ben Garant.

“Weird Al” Yankovic’s new album Mandatory Fun out now: http://smarturl.it/MandatoryFun

Distribution of UFO Sightings

steven_novellaBy Steven Novella via NeuroLogica Blog

Scientists often take an epidemiological approach to a phenomenon to discover clues about its cause and nature. This is not limited to medical diseases, the basic concept can apply to any episodic event.

Click for larger view

Click for larger view

Take UFO sightings – the phenomenon in question is people reporting that they saw something unidentified in the sky. We can generate some basic hypotheses about factors that might influence UFO sightings: the presence of objects to be observed, viewing conditions, number of people available to make observations, and priming (the idea of UFOs in the culture, say following a movie about UFOs or a case reported in the media).

As reported by The Economist, the National UFO Reporting Center has released statistics on UFO sightings by state and by time of day. The Economist has conveniently placed this data in an infographic, depicted right. They helpfully labeled the three periods of the day as working hours, drinking hours, and sleeping hours. As you can see, UFO reports peak during the drinking hours.

I am going to assume the article is tongue-in-cheek, but it is being spread around social media, sometimes in a manner that seems credulous.

UFO2croppedI don’t doubt the data itself, but the labeling of the chart amounts to begging the question – calling the evening hours the “drinking hours” makes certain assumptions about cause and effect. A far simpler explanation for the peak of sightings in the evening is that night-time conditions are more conducive to seeing unidentified lights in the sky, and people are still awake.

The article cheekily states that aliens don’t disturb us while we sleep (don’t tell that to people who experience hypnagogia and interpret the experience as an alien abduction), but obviously people are simply not in a position to make observations while they sleep.

Therefore we don’t need to invoke alcohol consumption at all to explain the pattern seen in this data.

There are, however, patterns in the UFO data that . . .

MORE – – –

Gluten Found in Portland’s Water Supply

Via The Daily Currant

Portland OreAuthorities in Portland, Ore. have discovered detectable levels of gluten in the city’s water supply, causing a citywide panic.

The city’s water bureau discovered the contamination yesterday and is desperately trying to find out how gluten got into the water. A preliminary report found that the contamination may have occurred “at least eight or nine months ago” when a child dropped a loaf of bread into a local river.

emergency State_225pxOfficials have declared a state of emergency and plan to drain all of the city’s reservoirs. The mayor has also deployed city’s spiritual and wellness counselors to provide relief to beleaguered residents who drank the gluten-contaminated water.

“I haven’t seen anything like this since the Tofu Crisis of ‘08, when we discovered that the Pacific Northwest’s entire supply of tofu had been prepared alongside bacon,” said city engineer Bryce Shivers. “I imagine we’re going to be seeing the disastrous effects of this on the city for decades, like higher rates of obesity, cancer, brain damage and illiteracy.

“Or whatever it is that gluten does. Frankly, I have no idea. My Hot Yoga guru just gave me a brochure.”

MORE – – –

%d bloggers like this: