Category Archives: Science Fiction

The Philadelphia Experiment

Nowadays many people are familiar with the legend of the Philadelphia Experiment — but how did it all begin?

The Strangest Kubrick Film Conspiracy Theories

Stanley Kubrick

Stanley Kubrick

By Ali Gray via yahoo

Stanley Kubrick was one of the greatest and most fastidious directors to ever live – but because he died in 1999, he wasn’t around to debunk the ridiculous conspiracy theories that his finest works would end up attracting. Thus, the Kubrick canon is a breeding ground for insane alternative viewpoints, including but not limited to alien sex cults to fake Moon landings. Now, as ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ enjoys a re-release, we present the strangest Stanley Kubrick theories out there – and they certainly are out there…

‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ proves the existence of aliens

2001 A Space Odyssey_300pxThis one requires you to make the small suspension of disbelief that Stanley Kubrick faked the Moon landings for the US government – no biggie. The reason he’d agree to such a thing, however, was because apparently, aliens beat us to it: there really was a Moon landing, but the version the public saw was shot by Kubrick to cover up the fact that the Apollo 11 mission was to cover up to the retrieval of alien technology. Gnostic scholar Jay Weidner suggests that ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ – released one year before the Moon landing – was actually a “research and development project” that gave Kubrick the tools he needed to create the fake Apollo footage. And… exhale.

‘Dr Strangelove’ was a warning about flouride

Dr Strangelove_300pxIf you’ve seen Kubrick’s cold war comedy – which actually started life as a deadly serious drama, before the actual Cold War ended up being stranger than fiction – you’ll be familiar with insane American general Jack D. Ripper (played by Sterling Hayden, above), who waxes lyrical on the Russians being behind fluoridisation: “the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face”. Some viewers think this is as straightforward as Kubrick warning about the dangers of fluoride (in high concentration it can be poisonous) but other theorists go even deeper down the rabbit hole, suggesting that the director intentionally made the character of Ripper insane to discredit those who believed fluoride was a serious threat. We’re not sure why he’d bother with all that, but there you go.

MORE – – –

The War of the Worlds Panic Broadcast

War of the worlds 133
On October 30, 1938, Orson Welles panicked a nation with a single broadcast. Or did he?
skeptoid eye
by Alison Hudson via skeptoid
Read transcript below or listen here

We know now that in the early years of the twentieth century this world was being watched closely by intelligences greater than man’s and yet as mortal as his own.

War of the worlds 135BSo began one of the most famous radio broadcasts of all time: the October 30, 1938 adaptation of H.G. Wells’s The War of the Worlds. Whenever Halloween rolls around, I always get in the mood to listen to the so-called “Panic Broadcast”. It’s one of my favouite radio shows. Not only is it a great program by itself, but I’m also fascinated by the story around it. Not the story that’s usually told, however, but the far more interesting truth behind what we all think we know about the “Panic Broadcast.”

Most people know the broad strokes of the popular story. On the evening before Halloween, the Mercury Theater on the Air starring Orson Welles performed a radio version of the popular science fiction story. What set the War of the Worlds broadcast apart from other shows the Mercury Theatre produced was its script, written by Howard Koch with input from Welles. Koch and Welles decided to use what was at the time an uncommon trick for creating realism:war of the worlds 148 they framed the audio play as if it were itself a totally different radio broadcast experiencing a series of journalistic interruptions to the normal nightly entertainment.

What happened next is widely told today in books, in television documentaries, and online: many people tuned in after the show began and, lacking the context of the intro, assumed they actually were listening to news reports about New Jersey being invaded by Martians. This triggered a night of chaos as listeners panicked about the arrival of the interplanetary menace. People fled their homes; people flocked to churches; people called the police; people grabbed their guns; people contemplated suicide; all because of a fake news broadcast about Martian invaders.

The event created a social and political firestorm that threatened the radio industry’s very existence. Within a few days, newspapers were reporting that “literally MILLIONS OF PEOPLE understood the broadcast to be REAL”. A flurry of lawsuits was filed against CBS. war of the worlds AttackCongressional hearings were declared, and regulations were imposed forbidding stations from airing fake news broadcasts. The Panic Broadcast has since become a morality tale for broadcasting, a warning against the misuse of the great power that media wields over the public.

At least, that’s the way it’s told. But how could reasonable people accept a fantastic event like Martian invaders as real? Before we answer that question, we need to ask a different question, one often asked here on Skeptoid: did it really happen the way it’s told?

MORE – – –

The Great martian war of 1913

B+W__0007_SH0T_08_600px
This is not conspiracy related, i just thought this was one of the coolest videos i’ve seen in a very long time. This is epic.

Description provided by The History Channel:

The Great Martian War tells the story of the catastrophic events and unimaginable horrors of 1913-17, when Humankind was pitted against a savage Alien invasion.

With powerful and detailed First World War parallels, The Great Martian War fuses sci-fi fantasy with specialist factual history to explore the real-world tragedies and unique horror of World War One.

Enjoy 🙂

Mason I. Bilderberg (MIB)


By PLAZMA via Vimeo

Find out more: The History Channel UK

10 Theories That Will Make You Lose Your Mind

by Jake Anderson via ODDEE

I consider myself a collector of sorts. I collect strange, bizarre notions and theories that warp traditional narratives about reality and existence. The following is a presentation of 10 of my favorite mind-blowing theories. There is compelling evidence for each, but you certainly don’t – and, for the sake of your sanity, probably shouldn’t – need to take them as gospel.

1 • The Singularity: We will transcend biology and live as posthuman Gods

a98991_singularity2_300pxFuturists like Ray Kurzweil say in the coming decades humans will experience a technological singularity by which we will transcend biology itself. Intelligent civilizations such as ours, says Kurzweil, are destined to evolve into super-intelligent, possibly machine-based beings whose computational powers grow exponentially.

After such a singularity, we would be able to harness the power of our own sun in order to accomplish interstellar feats only dreamed of in science fiction, such as creating Dyson Spheres and literally saturating the known universe with consciousness.

Some progressive thinkers like Noam Chomsky have labeled the theory science fiction, while others question the classist undertones of the theory’s transhumanist enthusiasts.

(Source | Photo)

2 • Project Bluebeam: the Government Will Engineer a False Flag Supernatural Alien Invasion

a98991_bluebeam_300pxProject Blue Beam is a highly controversial conspiracy theory. Originally proposed by Canadian journalist Serge Monast in 1994, it holds that the New World Order will use advanced holographic technology in order to create a false flag alien invasion and/or a worldwide religious “awakening” in order to achieve servitude by the masses and acceptance of a one world government and religion and possibly depopulation efforts as well.

There are supposedly 4 parts to the implementation of Project Blue Beam. These stages include:

  1. The dissolution of major religions due to archaeological discoveries disproving them.
  2. A holographic “space show” in which deities and aliens appear as our overlords (it is not clear how these two would coexist).
  3. Telepathic Electronic Two Way Communication, via ELF(Extra Low Frequency), VLF (Very Low Frequency), and LF (Low Frequency) waves, whereby people will think they are being spoken to by the new true God or extraterrestrial overlords.
  4. Use of worldwide microchips to fabricate horrifying supernatural events that will make people desperate for the New World Order.

(Source)

3 • Our handlers use Predictive Programming To Plan, Communicate, and Brainwash

a98991_PredictiveProgramming_300pxPredictive programming is the idea that society embeds messages into pop culture media and other modes of transmission in order to psychologically prepare and incubate the general population for certain events. It is, of course, a conspiracy theory,

Many people maintain instances of predictive programming are simply coincidences on par with synchronicity and Déjà vu; others say they are sinister calling cards for shadow groups who communicate across media channels through coded signals.
(Source)

4 • Human DNA contains the signature of an alien creator

a98991_humanDNA_300pxNew evidence is suggesting that instead of searching the stars with telescopes, we should have been searching our DNA with microscopes. Vladimir I. shCherbak of al-Farabi Kazakh National University of Kazakhstan, and Maxim A. Makukov of the Fesenkov Astrophysical Institute claim they have discovered an intelligent signal inside human DNA. In this case, “biological SETI” as it’s known, involves “arithmetical and ideographical patterns of symbolic language.”

In other words, it’s possible that an intelligent species encoded a message or signature into the very structure of our DNA. (Source | Photo)

MORE – – –

8 clues your friend is becoming a crazy conspiracy theorist

smallWorld_conspiracies_pyramid_600pxBy Robyn Pennacchia via Death and Taxes

It’s happened to all of us. Some friend we had in elementary school or from an old job is all of a sudden making super weird comments on Facebook, or you’re in a bar and some random is trying to talk to you about fluoride for some reason. It’s not always immediately clear. Like, I realized one day that people saying crazy things were always following it up with “Do your own research!” and then finally discovered that it was sort of a “buzzphrase” for conspiracy theorists.

So, I thought I’d compile a list of the ways to know that someone in your life is starting to head down to tin foil hat alley.

1 • Says insane thing (probably about chemtrails), and if you dispute, insists that you “Do your own research!”

chemtrail UFO culprit_250pxThis is one of the earliest signs of this type of crazy- and it’s also a major Glenn Beck-ism. I don’t know about you, but when I state a fact, I’m usually able to explain that fact. Especially if it’s something that may be controversial.

For instance, I do not so much believe that Joan Crawford beat her children. This is a thing that most people believe, because of the movie “Mommie Dearest”– however, when asked to explain, I don’t yell “Do your own research!” at people, I explain that all of the other children (save for Christopher) have refuted Christina’s book, as well as Crawford’s actual personal assistant, and Myrna Loy, and pretty much anyone else who was around during that time. I’m not saying I’m 100% definitely correct on this, but I err on the side of “probably not.”

Still, I don’t throw out something weird, get mad at people for not immediately taking me at my word, and then yell at them to do their own research. I mean, if they want to, that’s fine, but I’m usually quite able to support my arguments.

2 • Freaking Flouride

Fluoride_YourNotGoingToPoison_200pxUGH. These people and their fluoride. They love to make up crap about how the government puts fluoride in the water to keep us dumb and rebellion-resistant, like no one has ever seen “Dr. Strangelove” before or something. This is usually what they start with, probably because it sounds slightly more realistic than like, Lizard People.

It is not, however, true. At all. And yes, I’ve “done my research.” But don’t tell that to these people, especially if they are drunk at a bar, because they will, in fact, start screaming at you about it. Fluoride and the “vaccinations cause autism” thing are like the gateway drugs into tin-foil hat land.

3 • Rejecting the tyranny of paragraph breaks

I swear to god, this is a thing. Whenever I see a comment that’s just a giant block of text with no breaks in it, I immediately just go “Welp, this one’s gonna be crazy” and I am pretty much always right. I don’t know why this is a thing, it just is.

4 • When a person who you already kinda know isn’t too swift starts trying to pretend that they are some kind of intellectual who is totally going to school you on “how things are in the world.”

youtube graduate_250pxI hate to say this, but it’s true. It’s always the dumb ones. I feel bad, because like, they’re usually just coming across this stuff for the first time and it is totally blowing their minds. Like, I already know that some people think that the Rothschilds control the world and that there are Mason things on the dollar bill and also THE MOON LANDING WAS FAKED or whatever. I’ve known for years, and I’ve already figured out that it’s all bullshit.

The more you read about history, the more you realize that people are so not getting it together to form a whole “New World Order” anytime soon. While there have been “conspiracy” type things throughout history (MKUltra, Tuskeegee, Project Paperclip, the COINTELPRO that actually existed and not the one people pretend still exists), they have been discovered fairly quickly. Because someone always has a big mouth.

5 • They use the term term Big Pharma (or Big Anything) in all seriousness

There are about a 1000 problems with the pharmaceutical industry, for sure. However, when your friend is talking about “Big Pharma” they are not usually talking so much about overpriced cancer medication as they are like, vaccines causing autism and things like that. Also, sane people, when discussing the problems with the pharmaceutical industry just do not say things like “Big Pharma” because they like being taken seriously.

6 • “Wake up, Sheeple!”

SHEEPLE 04_200pxBeing awake or being asleep is like, tin-foil hat code for being hep to all kinds of nonsense. Which is why on those weird personal ads for Infowars everyone was like “I’ve been awake for 4 months” and things. Sheeple is what they call people who do not go along with them.

See, usually, these people are kind of “new.” Like, they think that the information they are about to rock you with is A) Nothing you have ever heard before or B) Something you are going to buy wholesale, immediately, because their “evidence” is so vastly compelling. If you do not believe them, you are obviously a sheep of a person.

MORE – – –

How “The Matrix” inspired Conspiracy Theorists (and Vice-Verse)

matrix_has_u_600px

by via The Soap Box

In 1999 one of the best (and perhaps strangest) science fiction films premiered in theaters. That film of course is The Matrix.

matrix alternate reality_300pxThe film itself was visually stunning, it’s fight screens were so awesome that other films have duplicated the same style in their fight scenes, and it had that was really unique story line… and made anyone who watched the film not sleep for a few days.

The film itself also had multiple concepts in it that many conspiracy theorists tend to use in their beliefs.

In fact many concepts from the film have either inspired conspiracy theorists in their and terminology and their beliefs, or were inspired by conspiracy theories and conspiracy theorists, such as:

The world as we know it is a lie.

The first concept in “The Matrix” that many conspiracy theorists hold near and dear to them is that the world as we know it is just one giant lie, and that everything we know is fake and intentionally constructed in order to fool the masses.

matrix eye_250pxIn the movie Neo is told that the world is a lie, and is eventually shown that the whole world that he knew is a computer generated simulation. While most conspiracy theorist don’t go as far to say that our world is a computer generated simulation (although some do) many do think that everything we know is just one well constructed lie, and that all of our history has been guided and constructed by some force that we don’t know about.

Only people who “wake up” can know the “truth”.

In the movie Neo is told that in order to know the truth about the world that he would basically have to “wake up”, which is something that conspiracy theorists tell people all the time that they need to do (especially when they express doubt in the conspiracy theorist’s claims).

Whether the concept of “waking up” came from the movie or not, anytime one argues with a conspiracy theorist (especially on the internet) often the conspiracy theorist will tell the person to WAKE UP to the “truth” (whatever that may be for the conspiracy theorist).

People must choose if they are to “wake up” or not.

matrix-red-pill-or-blue-pill_600px

Half way through the movie Neo is given a choice about whether he wants to find out what the Matrix is in the infamous “blue pill, red pill” screen. In the screen Neo is given the choice of taking a blue pill and continuing life as he knows it, or taking the red pill and finding out the truth about the world.

This screen is so infamous that many conspiracy theorists now commonly reference to the blue pill and red pill when trying to convince someone that the conspiracy theory that they are promoting is real, and that the only way that the average person can learn about what is really going on in the world (at least from the conspiracy theorist perspective) is that they must “choose” to “take the red pill”, or that they must choose to “wake up”.

MORE . . .

Kirlian photography – electrophotography

Via The Skeptic’s Dictionary – Skepdic.com

Kirlian_200pxIn 1939, Semyon Kirlian discovered by accident that if an object on a photographic plate is subjected to a high-voltage electric field, an image is created on the plate. The image looks like a colored halo or coronal discharge. This image is said to be a physical manifestation of the spiritual aura or “life force” which allegedly surrounds each living thing.

Allegedly, this special method of “photographing” objects is a gateway to the paranormal world of auras. Actually, what is recorded is due to quite natural phenomena such as pressure, electrical grounding, humidity and temperature. Changes in moisture (which may reflect changes in emotions), barometric pressure, and voltage, among other things, will produce different ‘auras’.

Living things…are moist. When the electricity enters the living object, it produces an area of gas ionization around the photographed object, assuming moisture is present on the object. This moisture is transferred from the subject to the emulsion surface of the photographic film and causes an alternation of the electric charge pattern on the film. If a photograph is taken in a vacuum, where no ionized gas is present, no Kirlian image appears. If the Kirlian image were due to some paranormal fundamental living energy field, it should not disappear in a simple vacuum (Hines 2003).

There have even been claims of electrophotography being able to capture “phantom limbs,” e.g., when a leaf is placed on the plate and then torn in half and “photographed,” the whole leaf shows up in the picture. This is not due to paranormal forces, however, but to fraud or to residues left from the initial impression of the whole leaf.

Parapsychologist Thelma Moss popularized Kirlian photography as a diagnostic medical tool with her books The Body Electric (1979) and The Probability of the Impossible (1983). She was convinced that the Kirlian process was an open door to the “bioenergy” of the astral body. Moss came to UCLA in mid-life and earned a doctorate in psychology. She experimented with and praised the effects of LSD and was in and out of therapy for a variety of psychological problems, but managed to overcome her personal travails and become a professor at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Institute. Her studies focused on paranormal topics, such as auras, levitation and ghosts. One of her favorite subjects at UCLA was Uri Geller, whom she “photographed” several times. She even made several trips to the Soviet Union to consult with her paranormal colleagues. Moss died in 1997 at the age of 78.

Moss paved the way for other parapsychologists to speculate that Kirlian “photography” was parapsychology’s Rosetta stone. They would now be able to understand such things as acupuncture, chi, orgone energy, telepathy, etc., as well as diagnose and cure whatever ails us. [new] For example, bio-electrography claims to be:

…a method of investigation for biological objects, based on the interpretation of the corona-discharge image obtained during exposure to a high-frequency, high-voltage electromagnetic field which is recorded either on photopaper or by modern video recording equipment. Its main use is as a fast, inexpensive and relatively non-invasive means for the diagnostic evaluation of physiological and psychological states. [from the now-defunct http://www.psy.aau.dk/bioelec/]

bioshirt
There is even a bioresonant clothing line that has emerged from the “study” of bio-electrography; it’s allegedly based on “an astonishing new theory in bio-physics: that the information exchange in human consciousness can be directly influenced and enhanced by vibrations of Light [sic], that we call colors.”

MORE . . .

Also see: Debunked: Soul Leaving Body Photo (Russian scientist Konstantin Korotkov)

Fake chemtrail letter hits DWK (Canada)

by Wayne Moore – Kelowna via West Kelowna News – Castanet.net

The District of West Kelowna is the latest municipality to come forward saying it has been the subject of a fraudulent letter concerning chemtrails.

letter_p1997453

In a news release issued late Wednesday, the municipality states:

Business owners and residents are advised to disregard a letter using the name District of West Kelowna and bearing a logo resembling the District’s that is being circulated in the community. This letter claims to be from the District’s Environment Department, signed by Susan Smith and involves chemtrails. The District of West Kelowna does not have an Environment Department, nor an employee named Susan Smith and is not distributing letters regarding chemtrails.

West Kelowna RCMP has been advised that these false letters are being distributed in this community. The District of West Kelowna welcomes any information regarding who is responsible for the distribution of these false letters. Information can be provided by calling 778-797-1000.

West Kelowna is the third Okanagan municipality to confirm such a letter using the municipal logo.

On Tuesday both Penticton and Kelowna confirmed letters using their logo was also being distributed.

[END]

via West Kelowna News – Castanet.net

YouTube University

I made this image today in honor of all those conspiracists who cite YouTube videos as their source of information to support their wacky theories. Enjoy and share everywhere!  🙂

MIB

tin foil hat graduate

Why people believe in conspiracy theories

By Alex Seitz-Wald via Salon.com

xfiles-620x412_300pxWe’ve written before about the historical and social aspects of conspiracy theories, but wanted to learn more about the psychology of people who believe, for instance, that the Boston Marathon bombing was a government “false flag” operation. Psychological forces like motivated reasoning have long been associated with conspiracy thinking, but scientists are learning more every year. For instance, a British study published last year found that people who believe one conspiracy theory are prone to believe many, even ones that are completely contradictory.

Professor Stephan Lewandowsky, a cognitive scientist at the University of Western Australia, published a paper late last month in the journal Psychological Science that has received widespread praise for looking at the thinking behind conspiracy theories about science and climate change. We asked him to explain the psychology of conspiracy theories. This conversation has been edited for brevity and clarity.

matrix-red-pill-or-blue-pill_600px

First of all, why do people believe conspiracy theories?

There are number of factors, but probably one of the most important ones in this instance is that, paradoxically, it gives people a sense of control. People hate randomness, they dread the sort of random occurrences that can destroy their lives, so as a mechanism against that dread, it turns out that it’s much easier to believe in a conspiracy. Then you have someone to blame, it’s not just randomness.

What are the psychological forces at play in conspiracy thinking?

Conspiracies 901_250pxBasically what’s happening in any conspiracy theory is that people have a need or a motivation to believe in this theory, and it’s psychologically different from evidence-based thinking. A conspiracy theory is immune to evidence, and that can pretty well serve as the definition of one. If you reject evidence, or reinterpret the evidence to be confirmation of your theory, or you ignore mountains of evidence to focus on just one thing, you’re probably a conspiracy theorist. We call that a self-sealing nature of reasoning.

Another common trait is the need to constantly expand the conspiracy as new evidence comes to light. For instance, with the so-called Climategate scandal, there were something like nine different investigations, all of which have exonerated the scientists involved. But the response from the people who held this notion was to say that all of those investigations were a whitewash. So it started with the scientists being corrupt and now not only is it them, but it’s also all the major scientific organizations of the world that investigated them and the governments of the U.S. and the U.K., etc., etc. And that’s typical — instead of accepting the evidence, you actually turn it around and say that it’s actually evidence to support the conspiracy because it just means it’s even broader than it was originally thought to be.

Are there certain types of people who are more prone to believing in conspiracy theories than others? Does it match any kind of political lines?

I don’t think there is a systematic association between political views and the propensity to believe in conspiracy theories. There are some studies that suggest people on the political left are inclined to it, and there are some that suggest people on the right are. But it’s always a weak association.

MORE . . .

Scientology – The Truth

via Scientology – The Truth – YouTube

Turns out this Scientology thing isn’t just a load of harebrained bulls**t after all.

WARNING: SALTY LANGUAGE

As an added bonues, here is the leaked Scientology video that established Tom Cruise as some kind of loon:

10 Bizarre Theories About The Earth That People Believe

By Jeff Kelly via Listverse

Knowledge is hard to come by, particularly when you stop to think about how short a time man has been around in the grand scheme of things. We have made great strides to understand the mysteries around us, such as the shape of the Earth and how continents shift and mountains and canyons form. Of course, like everything else, getting to this point takes a lot of trial and error. Here is a list of some truly of the wall theories about the Earth that, believe it or not, some people still believe.

10 • Lemuria and Atlantis

atlantis3g_300pxWe’re going to focus mainly on Lemuria here, but it’d be foolish not to mention both of the so-called “missing continents” that people have theorized for years simply must have existed because—well, we’re not entirely sure why. Either way, just like Atlantis, Lemuria was said to have been a giant landmass located in the Indian and Pacific Oceans, and in both cases one of the primary reasons for the creation of the theory of these lost continents was to explain how similar species could exist on two landmasses so far from one another.

In the case of Lemuria, it basically all comes down to a guy named Philip Sclater, who found himself puzzled as to why he was finding lemur fossils on the island of Madagascar and India, but not Africa or the Middle East. According to Sclater, the only possible explanation was that there simply must have been a giant landmass connecting the two nations, and he decided to name it after the glorious lemur itself. Over the years people have pretty much dismissed the notion that Lemuria ever existed, but the myth has continued thanks largely to some pretty batty writers, such as Helena Blavatsky, who wrote about the Occult, so you know she’s a trustworthy source.

9 • Geoterrapinism Theory

g86qe_300pxDon’t look now, but according to some, we are living on the back of a giant turtle. We might also be living on the back of an elephant or a serpent, but let’s stick with turtles for now, because the Cosmic Turtle is the most widely recognized “belief” in this particular category.

The Great Turtle myth was first brought to the public’s attention in the 17th century, after a man named Jasper Danckaerts learned of it from several tribes of Native Americans he encountered. The Native Americans, however, are not the only ones who believed that the world rested on the shell of a giant turtle, as the myth is also prevalent in Chinese and Indian culture. All we know is that if we have to live on the back of a giant turtle, we hope he’s got a lot more Michelangelo in him that Raphael, because sure, he’s cool, but he’s also just so rude.

8 • Tectonic Strain Theory

ufo_2387810b_300pxUnlike other theories on this list, which are meant to explain the Earth itself and the various events that have taken place over the millennia, Tectonic Strain Theory sets out to explain something other-wordly. Namely, UFO sightings throughout history. Not only UFOs, mind you, but also ghosts, spontaneous combustion, and basically anything else that are thought of as otherwise inexplicable events.

Tectonic Strain was theorized by Professor Michael Persinger in 1975, and suggests that every UFO sighting and basically unexplained phenomena people claim to have seen can be explained away by electromagnetic fields that occur when the Earth’s crust strains near seismic faults. According to Persinger, these EM fields create hallucinations, which are based on images from popular culture. That sounds like a really roundabout way of blaming something on TV, if you ask us.

7 • Contracting Earth Theory

SUESS_1909_Antlitz_Erde_300pxContracting Earth Theory, or geophysical global cooling if you want to get all science-y about it, was a theory before the idea of plate tectonics ever came about that said the Earth is actually getting smaller over time, and the shrinking Earth is what causes natural disasters as well as the natural wonders of nature, such as mountain ranges.

The idea is that the Earth consists of molten rock, and as the interior of the Earth cools and contracts, so too does the surface, leading to mountains springing up left and right, often turning into volcanoes when the planet needs to vomit up whatever it can’t keep down in its own Earth version of a stomach. The theory has in fact been used in real, bona fide scientific research, notably by a guy named Professor Edward Suess in order to explain an earthquake. We know what you’re thinking, and the answer is no, that’s not the same Dr. Suess, because the name is spelled differently, and also because the guy who wrote Green Eggs and Ham couldn’t have possibly been that dumb.

6 • The Expanding Earth Theory

expanding-earth-theory_300pxOn the flip side of the Contracting Earth Theory is the Expanding Earth Theory, which is exactly what it sounds like. It was believed by some that the Earth is ever-expanding, just like the universe it occupies, and fortunately since people started to realize that plate tectonics are a thing that happen they’ve more or less rejected either of these two asinine theories.

Of course, we hesitate to really scoff too much at the people who have theorized that the Expanding Earth Theory wasn’t actually stupid and nonsensical, largely because one of the most noteworthy minds who put the theory to work was Charles Darwin himself, but thankfully he quickly realized that would make no sense and went back to doing what he did best: irritating the hell out of Creationists.

MORE . . .

%d bloggers like this: