Tag Archives: Apocalypse

Top 10 Dumbest Alex Jones Predictions That Didn’t Happen

Rumors are that it will be a disastrous week

Source: Doubtful News

end-of-the-world_300pxA Blood Moon prophetic disaster?
The restart of the LHC makes big bang of doom?
Mercury in retrograde? Heaven forfend!
There are all these weird noises too! What does it all mean? The Apocalypse? Well if you buy into tabloids, and religious and conspiracy sites hype (specifically from the WND site), it sounds like the End. But we doubt it. While it may sound sciencey on the surface, such claims are a bunch of pseudoscientific nonsense. So you can stop worrying, really. OK, here’s the reasoning.
End of the world claims are common. Remember, the world was supposed to end in 2011 (twice), in 2012 (multiple dates), 2014, and when Pope Benedict was done with his tenure. See all the dozens of other times that the Apocalypse was predicted. All such predictions failed.
In early September, we told you about reverend John Hagee who was promoting his new book on the end times culminating with the “Blood Moon” concocted scare to happen on September 27-28. As we noted then,
the end is near_225px

  • Prophecy isn’t real.
  • Religion is not science.
  • Hagee is selling a book, encouraging fear to bring people to his brand of religion.
  • There is no natural reason why the end of the world has anything to do with this date.
  • There have been 62 tetrads since the first century, these are natural cycles, nothing special.
A story about the END OF THE WORLD!!! is guaranteed click-bait. Jewish mystics and Christian End Times evangelists promoting this view cite various recent catastrophes (drought, fires, volcanoes and earthquakes), increased murder rates [only in some cities], gay marriage legalization, signs in the sky, and Pope Francis’ visit to the US now as signals of the return of Jesus. Bookies are taking bets; I can’t quite figure how those will pay out.

Continue Reading . . .

The Ultimate Conspiracy Debunker

Via YouTube

Most Conspiracy Theories are stupid. By the power of the internet they spread like wildfire and often poison discussions. But there is hope – we developed a way to debunk conspiracies in just a few seconds…

The September 23rd Apocalypse

skeptoid eyeBy Mike Rothschild via Skeptoid

Biblical prophecy watchers, apocalypse predictors, rapture preachers, and doomsday preppers are buzzing about an upcoming day that might finally usher in the End of the World As We Know It: September 23, 2015. This is supposedly the day that a confluence of events, both political and scientific, is going to herald the destruction of humanity.

Oh man, not broken down cars!

Oh man, not broken down cars!

It’s clear that in prophecy circles, this is a big deal. A search for “September 23 2015 apocalypse” brings up 11 million hits. References to the “events of September, 2015” are all over major conspiracy websites, talking about everything from rapture to asteroids to aliens to Biblical blood moons. YouTube is brimming with videos showing “the signs” of what’s about to happen. Even Isaac Newton is said to have prophesied the end of the world for this date.

So what’s going to happen that day? What are the sources of these prophecies? And most importantly, should you be worried?

Let’s start with what’s being predicted for September 23, 2015 – and for September 2015 in general. According to various conspiracy, prophecy, and prepping websites, the following things will happen on the date itself:

  • Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement.
  • President Barack Obama is scheduled to meet with Pope Francis at the White House. Of note is that Francis is the 266th Pope, September 23 is the 266th day of the year, and the average length of human gestation is 266 days.
  • The Autumnal Equinox.
  • The First day of the Muslim holiday Eid al-Adha, also known as “the Feast of the Sacrifice.”

If you add in days either just before or just after 9/23/15, you also get a number of apocalyptic events:

  • A range of dates that Comet 67P is scheduled to make an extremely close passage of Earth, September 15-28.
  • The September restart of the CERN Large Hadron Collider will open a portal to another dimension.
  • The end of Jade Helm 15 on September 15.
  • The September 25th launch of a new UN initiative, Agenda 2030, which signals the end stage of Agenda 21 implementation.
  • The date of the last of the “Four Blood Moons” heralding the End Times, on September 28.
  • The approximate date of predicted economic collapse.
  • The end of a Shemitah year in the Jewish Calendar, the last year of the seven year agricultural cycle, that traditionally brings with it great tribulation.

All of these events have been prophesied to form a combination that will bring on the End Times. What are the sources of these predictions?

Damn you, Ned Flanders! Damn you!

Damn you, Ned Flanders! Damn you!

  • The obvious confluence of the three major world religions on September 23.
  • Biblical prophecy, specifically the “Four Blood Moons” prophecy.
  • The End Times prophecy of Sir Isaac Newton.
  • A dire warning from French Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius, who claimed on May 13, 2014 that we have “500 days to avoid climate chaos.” 500 days after May 13, 2014 is September 24, 2015.
  • Prophetic dreams and visions by people attuned to such things.
  • Predictive programming in Hollywood entertainment – specifically, many uses of the numbers “9” and “23” in films and TV.

If all of this is correct, September 2015 is going to be a spectacularly bad month for humanity, with climactic, scientific, economic, and godly chaos brought down upon us. So stock up on beans, guns, and guns that shoot beans, because we’re in for it.

Except skeptics don’t think like this. We don’t see omens and prophecy and rumor, grab our bug-out bags and head for the bunker. We grab our facts and head for the…facts bunker.

Let’s start with these events of September 23 itself.

Continue Reading . . .

Asteroid Impact Apocalypse?

Catastrophe To Hit Sept. 22-28, 2015!
Doomsday Theorists Continue To Stir Mass Hysteria

Via inquisitr

asteroid2-665x385_300pxConspiracy theory websites and blogs have intensified the mass hysteria-inducing message that global civilization will witness a major climate catastrophe September 22-28 — due to an asteroid impact event — heralding the end of the world.While conspiracy theorists are unanimous that a major climate disaster will occur in September, 2015, there are as many versions of the details of the anticipated global cataclysm as there are YouTube doomsday prophets announcing the bad news.

But the various versions of the end-of-the-world predictions by biblical end-time theorists appear to be converging on the idea that the impending climate catastrophe will not be the end-of-the-world literally, but a major catastrophe that will trigger the Rapture and the commencement of the prophetic 7-year Tribulation. The Tribulation will witness the emergence of the Illuminati-sponsored New World Order (NWO), the revelation of the Beast, and Pope Francis assuming the role of the “False Prophet” mentioned in The Book of Revelation.

Obama, according to conspiracy theorists, will play a relatively modest role in the Tribulation period as the predecessor of the Beast.

Obama With Devil Horns: Obama, According To Conspiracy Theorists, Is Only Predecessor Of The Beast

Obama With Devil Horns: Obama, According To Conspiracy Theorists, Is Only Predecessor Of The Beast

The exact date for the asteroid impact is often stated as September 24. The impact will be a signal to the ever-conspiring Illuminati to implement their socialist world government agenda. The upcoming Jade Helm military exercises are part of Illuminati preparation for the New World Order.

According to conspiracy theorists  .  .  .

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10 People who predicted the end of the World… More than once.

by The Locke via The Soap Box

the end is near_225pxWith the recent Blood Moon there are several people going around that are “predicting” that the end of the world is near… again. Most notable of those predicting the end of the world is Pastor John Hagee.

This whole “end of the world” thing has once again got me thinking about all of the people who have made doomsday predictions, and more than once.

I decide to look around Wikipedia and have found quite a number of people who have made multiple doomsday predictions that didn’t happen.

So here are ten people that made multiple end of the world predictions:

Harold Camping

Harold_CampingIf I’m going to start this list I might as well start it off with him.

Harold Camping, the now infamous evangelical preacher and founder of the Christian radio station Family Radio, used some mathematical equations, along with some calender dates and dates in the Bible, to predict when the Rapture was going to occur, and the eventual end of the world itself.

Most of you are probably thinking I’m referring to his failed 2011 end of the world predictions, which I am. I’m also referring to his failed end of the world prediction for 1995, and his three failed end of the world predictions in 1994.

One would think that someone whom had failed to predict the end of the world four times before that no one would listen to this guy’s last end of the world prediction. But alas, not only did people listen, but they also spent millions of dollars on an advertisement campaign that basically told people they were about to die.

Pat Robertson

Pat_RobertsonI’m sure most people in America know who Pat Robertson is. He’s the host of The 700 Club, as well as the founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network and Regent University, and is considered to be one of the most famous televangelists in the United States, if not the world.

He’s also made a failed prediction about the end of the world… twice.

His first failed prediction was that the “Day of Judgement” would happen sometime in late 1982. He didn’t give a specific day when it would happen, only that it was going to happen sometime around then.

For his second failed prediction he did give a specific date of when it the end of the world might happen, that date being April 29, 2007. Ofcourse for this prediction he didn’t actually say that the end of the world would happen on that, only that it might happen.

Warren Jeffs

Warren JeffsLeader of the notorious polygamist cult the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and convicted child molester, Warren Jeffs predicted, twice while in prison, that the world would end.

His first prediction for doomsday was for December 23, 2012. When that failed to occur he blamed his followers for that failure due to a “lack of faith” (because apparently you have to have a lot of faith inorder to make the apocalypse happen) and then moved his prediction to New Years Eve of that year.

I guess his followers still lacked enough faith to bring about the end of the world. Or maybe he just got the date wrong again?

Or maybe he’s a obscene liar as well as a pedophile.

Herbert W. Armstrong

HerbertWArmstrongHerbert Armstrong was the founder of the Worldwide Church of God and Ambassador College. Throughout his lifetime he and and his advisers met with numerous leaders in various governments throughout the world, for which he described himself as an “ambassador without portfolio for world peace.”

He also made four end of the world predictions, all of which clearly failed.

His first end of the world prediction was that the Rapture was suppose to occur in 1936, and that only followers of his church were going to be saved.

When that failed he revised he prediction that the end would happen sometime in 1943, and when that failed he revised it again for 1972, and when that failed he revised it again and said that the world would end in 1975.

Considering that fact that he failed to predict the end of the world four times, why anyone, more or less heads of state, would ever listen to this guy is beyond me.

Ronald Weinland

RonaldWeinland_250pxFounder of the Church of God, Preparing for the Kingdom of God (damn that’s a long name) a splinter sect of the Worldwide Church of God (what a surprise), and convicted tax evader Ronald Weinland predicted that Jesus Christ would come back and that the world would end on September 29, 2011… and May 27, 2012… and May 19, 2013.

You’re not reading that wrong. Ronald Weinland, three years in a row predicted that the world would end, and each and every time he did… nothing happen.

No word yet from him on whether or not the world is suppose to end this year.

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EDITORIAL: The dubious apocalypse of global warming

The climate isn’t changing, but doomsday rhetoric is rising

Via The Washington Times

The world isn’t warming. The Climate Depot website obtained the latest satellite measurements and found the Earth’s thermostat hasn’t budged since September 1996.

That’s 210 straight months without any trend of the planet growing hotter, or colder, by even a tenth of a degree. This ought to be good news for buyers of a Toyota Prius or carbon-dioxide offsets. They could imagine themselves as having saved the world. But they’re more depressed than ever.

Matthew Ranson, an economist, describes in the Journal of Environmental Economics and Management the chaos that he thinks awaits. “Between 2010 and 2099,” he writes in the peer-reviewed journal, “climate change will cause an additional 22,000 murders, 180,000 cases of rape, 1.2 million aggravated assaults, 2.3 million simple assaults, 260,000 robberies, 1.3 million burglaries, 2.2 million cases of larceny, and 580,000 cases of vehicle theft in the United States.” No estimates of mopery or pillaging.

global-warming-Gore_200pxMr. Ranson said he examined the effect that temperature has on crime rates, based on FBI records. The numbers recognize the obvious criminal preference to rob and pillage in balmy conditions; a blizzard is bad for everybody’s business.

He speculates that a great crime wave would follow the heat wave predicted by computer models of the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

The U.N. panel is raising its rhetoric, too. London’s daily Independent reports that the panel predicts crop yields will fall by 2 percent every decade, leading to malnutrition and starvation. There will be floods, fires, civil war, hay fever, heat waves, boils, various itches, pestilence and plagues on mankind.

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4 Creepy Mysteries With Hilariously Stupid Explanations

By via Cracked.com

Our world is full of things no one can explain, from mysterious ancient artifacts to really, really basic stuff we totally should have figured out by now. But once in a while, we do find an answer to one of these fascinating mysteries, and that answer is “just plain old stupid bullshit.” Here are four intriguing questions that should’ve remained unanswered (or just four unnecessarily elaborate cover-ups that prove the government has a sense of whimsy).

#4. “River of Blood” Turns Out to Be an Ink Spill

news.sky.com "Ugh, the Overlook's septic tank broke again."

“Ugh, the Overlook’s septic tank broke again.”
(image: news.sky.com)

In late December, residents of the English village of Moulton were left somewhat confused and extremely creeped out when they woke up one morning and found that their local brook had been stained with the blood-red shades of murder. Or murders, because seriously, that’s a fuckload of red.

The villagers rushed to their laptops and informed various social media outlets of their running river of blood, some comparing it to a horror film and others quoting the Book of Revelations, fearing that it was the first sign of the apocalypse. So what was it? A bleeding whale? A serial killer convention? That creepy clown that recently showed up nearby? Nope, the red coloration was caused by nothing other than an ink spill. So the world won’t end, but the villagers may have to endure a red pen shortage for the next decade.

#3. Mysterious Crop Circle Is Just a Publicity Stunt

Another strange event at the end of 2013 that made people think the Mayans may have been off by a year was the mysterious crop circle that popped up in a farmer’s barley field in Chualar, California. The design was so intricately done that the farmer told CNN that he was “baffled” by its appearance.

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He was immediately given a first-option deal by the History Channel.
Watch: Nvidia

Naturally, as soon as the story broke, crop circle experts all over the Internet wrote in-depth analyses that claimed to have decoded the secret alien message in the fields, with some of these Fox Mulders declaring that it meant a bright comet would appear this year (presumably foreshadowing some dragons). It was at this point that tech company Nvidia couldn’t contain its giggling any longer and revealed that the crop circle was actually a marketing stunt promoting their latest processing chip. It’s unclear if the farmer was in on the joke or if those dicks stomped his barley without telling him.

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On the upside, his field can now run Crysis 3 without lag.
Watch: Nvidia

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End of the world, episode #452

Via Skeptophilia

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but we’re all gonna die.

Again.

DOOMSDAY 1021_200pxI mean, what is this?  This 452nd time this has happened, or something?  Between Mayan apocalypses and Christian End Times predictions and the planet Nibiru and plagues and pandemics and the Harmonic Convergence and the Yellowstone Supervolcano (which is still overdue for an eruption!), it’s kind of surprise we’re all still here.

This time, the world is going to end because we’re going to be destroyed by a rogue planet that is hurtling in toward the inner Solar System at a speed of 200 kilometers per second.  So says a report on Turner Radio Network, which claims that “Dr. Kaplan, a Professor in the Astronomy Department at the University of Texas at Austin” has discovered a large object that is heading toward us — and that even if it doesn’t hit us directly, “the gravity will affect the Earth in terrible ways long before it gets here.”

[image courtesy of NASA and the Wikimedia Commons]

[image courtesy of NASA and the Wikimedia Commons]


Dr. Kaplan made a video (linked on the website) wherein he projected the planet’s arrival time as August 2014, which is the only thing I find that is cheerful about this prediction.  It gives me the summer to recover from the progressive hypothermia I’ve experienced this winter, so at least I’ll finally be comfortably warm by the time I get vaporized.  And it also means that whatever else happens, I won’t have to endure another upstate New York winter, because interaction with the planet will cause “shifting of the tectonic plates on a massive scale.”  I can only hope that our tectonic plate will shift toward the equator.  If that’s an outcome of a planetary collision, then all I can say is, bring it on, because I have had it with the snow.

PlanetOf course, the other predictions are more dire.  “(I)f Kaplan’s scenario is true, the problems Earth will experience would begin with weather anomalies and tidal anomalies, will increase to earthquakes then volcanic eruptions as Earth’s magma is pulled by the gravity of the approaching planet,” the Turner Radio Broadcast report said.  “The experts went on to tell us the troubles would increase further to horrific tsunamis 1000 meters high, moving at 1200 kilometers per hour striking coastal regions around the Earth…  One expert even claimed that depending upon the size and gravity of the planet, and its angle of approach, the gravity of this other planet could actually STOP the Earth from rotating on its axis.  He likened it to a vehicle traveling at 1,000 miles per hour, and having the brakes slammed on; the resulting inertia of all objects on earth would cause them to continue moving while the earth was stopping; sort of like what happens in a car wreck when the car suddenly stops, but the passengers fly forward from their own inertia.”

So that kind of sucks.  And after the article goes into all of that, they ask a few pertinent questions, such as  .  .  .

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11 Ways to REALLY destroy the Earth

End times
By via The Soap Box

For years and years everyone from science fiction writers to scientists have been talking about all of these scenarios and what not about how the world will end (be it by our own hands, or a random act of nature).

While I find many of these scenarios interesting, many of them have a common flaw: they don’t actually end the Earth, just human civilization, and perhaps the human species.

So, how exactly could the Earth REALLY be destroyed (as in cease to exist)?

Well I’ve thought about it, and I’ve come up with about 11 different ways of how it could happen.

So if you don’t mind possibly being scared to death, below are those 11 possible scenarios:

• Planetary impact

planet-impact_250pxWe all know the dangers that a direct impact from either a comet or meteor poses to the Earth as it has been the subject of several movies and books, and is a legitimate threat because it has happened before, and it has wiped out entire species and caused major damage to the Earth throughout our planet’s history.

While some people might believe that it would be the end of the world if a large meteor or comet was to hit us today, it wouldn’t be. It might be the end of human civilization, maybe even our species, but the world will still exist… unless something really big, or really heavy was to hit us…

Lets say something nearly the size of the Earth, or bigger, was to hit us, or something very heavy like a neutron star. The fact is that there would be no way for the Earth to survive an impact by something close to, or larger, or heavier than the Earth. Our world would be broken apart and probably turned into an asteroid field by such an impact.

• High speed impact

The amount of damage a object can do not only depends on how large an object is, but also by how fast said object is going.

A one mile wide meteor hitting the Earth would be devastating. If that one mile wide meteor was to hit the Earth while traveling nearly the speed of light, the amount of kinetic energy released from such an impact would rip the Earth apart, and we wouldn’t even know it until it actually happened (assuming we survived long enough) because such an object would most likely be impossible to find, let alone track.

von Neumann machine

terminator_250pxA von Neumann machine is a type of robot first conceived of by John von Neumann (hence the name) that can basically self replicate, and could even manufacture materials on it’s own in order to do so. It would even be possible for it to seek out the resources it needs to manufacture those materials.

While such a machine would be an extraordinary leap forward in terms of robotics and manufacturing, some people fear that one day one of those robots could go haywire (or someone could build one for the purpose of unregulated self replicating) and continue to self replicate without knowing when to shut off, and ultimately end up destroying the Earth a small part at a time until there is nothing left.

While a larger machine might not actually be able to do this before we stopped it, a small machine like a nano-probe might just be able to do this.

• Knocked into the sun

Lets say a very large object (like a star) was to pass through our solar system, what do you think would happen?

The answer is that the Earth would be knocked out of orbit.

After that one of two things would then happen: The Earth would be knocked away from the sun and become a rogue planet (as well as a giant ball of ice), or we would get knocked into the sun and be burnt into nothing.

Super Laser

DeathStarLaser_300pxIf you’ve ever seen Star Wars then you probably know what I’m talking about, if you don’t then I’ll explain (although I do still recommend seeing Star Wars).

laser is a device that creates a focused beam of light that can actually be quiet destructive, and depending on how much energy you put into the laser, it’s destructive power can range from being harmless (unless you look directly into the beam) to being used to take out a vehicle. Taking this in mind it is theoretically possible to build a laser powerful to destroy the Earth.

Fortunately we don’t have to worry about this one right now due to the fact that the total amount of energy produced world wide is no where near enough to power a laser that would be capable of doing so.

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