Tag Archives: detoxification

The Detoxification Myth

Everyone wants to “detoxify” their bodies. Is this for real?

Brian DunningBy Brian Dunning via skeptoid

Podcast transcript below or listen here

Today we’re going to head into the bathroom and suck the toxins out of our bodies through our feet and through our bowels, and achieve a wonderful sense of wellness that medical science just hasn’t caught onto yet. Today’s topic is the myth of detoxification, as offered for sale by alternative practitioners and herbalists everywhere.

detox 853_250pxTo better understand this phenomenon, it’s necessary to define what they mean by toxins. Are they bacteria? Chemical pollutants? Trans fats? Heavy metals? To avoid being tested, they leave this pretty vague. Actual medical treatments will tell you exactly what they do and how they do it. Alternative detoxification therapies don’t do either one. They pretty much leave it up to the imagination of the patient to invent their own toxins. Most people who seek alternative therapy believe themselves to be afflicted by some kind of self-diagnosed poison; be it industrial chemicals, McDonald’s cheeseburgers, or fluoridated water. If the marketers leave their claims vague, a broader spectrum of patients will believe that the product will help them. And, of course, the word “toxin” is sufficiently scientific-sounding that it’s convincing enough by itself to many people.

Let’s assume that you work in a mine or a chemical plant and had some vocational accident, and fear that you might have heavy metal poisoning. What should you do? Any responsible person will go to a medical doctor for a blood test to find out for certain whether they have such poisoning. A person who avoids this step, because they prefer not to hear that the doctor can’t find anything, is not a sick person. He is a person who wants to be sick. Moreover, he wants to be sick in such a way that he can take control and self-medicate. He wants an imaginary illness, caused by imaginary toxins.

These mucoid plaque pills consist mainly of bentonite, an absorbent, expanding clay similar to kitty litter.

These mucoid plaque pills consist mainly of bentonite, an absorbent, expanding clay similar to kitty litter.

Now it’s fair for you to stop me at this point and call me out on my claim that these toxic conditions are imaginary. I will now tell you why I say that, and then as always, you should judge for yourself. Let’s start with one of the more graphic detoxification methods, gruesomely pictured on web sites and in chain emails. It’s a bowel cleansing pill, said to be herbal, which causes your intestines to produce long, rubbery, hideous looking snakes of bowel movements, which they call mucoid plaque. There are lots of pictures of these on the Internet, and sites that sell these pills are a great place to find them. Look at DrNatura.com, BlessedHerbs.com, and AriseAndShine.com, just for a start. Imagine how terrifying it would be to actually see one of those come out of your body. If you did, it would sure seem to confirm everything these web sites have warned about toxins building up in your intestines. But there’s more to it. As it turns out, any professional con artist would be thoroughly impressed to learn the secrets of mucoid plaque (and, incidentally, the term mucoid plaque was invented by these sellers; there is no such actual medical condition). These pills consist mainly of bentonite, an absorbent, expanding clay similar to kitty litter. Combined with psyllium, used in the production of mucilage polymer, bentonite forms a rubbery cast of your intestines when taken internally, mixed of course with whatever else your body is excreting. Surprise, a giant rubbery snake of toxins in your toilet.

It’s important to note that the only recorded instances of these “mucoid plaque” snakes in all of medical history come from the toilets of the victims of these cleansing pills. No gastroenterologist has ever encountered one in tens of millions of endoscopies, and no pathologist has ever found one during an autopsy. They do not exist until you take such a pill to form them. The pill creates the very condition that it claims to cure. And the results are so graphic and impressive that no victim would ever think to argue with the claim.

Victims, did I call them? Creating rubber casts of your bowels might be gross but I haven’t seen that it’s particularly dangerous, so why are they victims? A one month supply of these pills costs $88 from the web sites I mentioned. $88 for a few pennies worth of kitty litter in a pretty bottle promising herbal and organic cleansing. Yeah, they’re victims.

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Homeopathic chemtrail remedies

by via Skeptophilia

Following on the heels of my post yesterday regarding how much smarter and saner the conspiracy theorists are than us skeptics, today we will take a look at: homeopathic anti-chemtrail spray.

homeopathic anti-chemtrail sprayYes, folks, guaranteed to “alleviate symptoms of chemtrail exposure,” this homeopathic preparation (i.e. a bottle of water) is to be sprayed up the nose “until symptoms disappear.”

At first, I thought this had to be a joke.  Or, at least, unique.  Surely no one else would come up with the idea of using worthless remedies for nonexistent chemtrail exposure.

I was wrong.

Check out, for example, ChemBuster.  The website starts out by asking a very important question, namely: “Have you experienced symptoms of unknown origin?”  Because if you had “chronic fatigue,” “chronic pain,” “chronic headaches,” or “mental and emotional problems,” there could only be one answer:

The government is putting chemicals into jet fuel, so that when the jet fuel is burned, the chemicals are dispersed over the unsuspecting citizenry, where they are inhaled and cause you to feel crummy.

So who you gonna call?  ChemBuster!

ChemBuster contains 4 herbals and 9 homeopathics blended in a proprietary process designed to defeat, to annihilate, the pools of mycoplasma, heavy metals, respiratory problems and even mental problems associated with Chemtrail poisoning.

But ChemBuster has to be “activated” before use.  How do you activate it?  By purchasing an “orgone energy generator,” setting the bottle next to it, and turning it on, which will “potentiate” it, increasing its strength by a factor of ten (following the mathematical principle that 10 x 0 = 0).

At this point, I should mention that the “orgone energy generator” uses the power of gemstones to “collect, concentrate, transmute and radiate all ambient subtle energy into life force,” and that the person who came up with the idea of “orgone,” Wilhelm Reich, believed that it was the “life energy” that was released suddenly during an orgasm.  I’m not making this up, by the way.  So here we have a claim that combines four ridiculous ideas — homeopathy + chemtrails + gemstone energies + orgone.

Which may be a new record.

AlexJonesLunaticNow, if you don’t want to buy homeopathic remedies and orgone energy generators to combat chemtrails, there could be a cheaper solution, namely: a spray bottle filled with vinegar.  Once again, I feel obliged to state outright that I’m not making this up.  Last year, we had a claim going around that was given some momentum by such pinnacles of rationality as Alex Jones and Jeff Rense, stating that if you were worried about the government dousing you with chemicals, all you had to do to “cleanse the air” was to spray some vinegar up toward the sky.  So people did it, because of course there never is an idea so completely idiotic that there won’t be large quantities of people who will believe it.

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