Tag Archives: FEMA

10 Greatest Conspiracies of 2018

Top 10 Dumbest Alex Jones Predictions That Didn’t Happen

Here’s one for the FEMA camp conspiracists.

Here’s one for the FEMA camp conspiracists. The county of Fairfax, Virginia, actually has a facility for disposing of citizens!!!!! OMG! Repost this where FEMA conspiracists will see it, make some heads explode! See it for yourself here: http://tinyurl.com/y7xfa3mm (Google Map).

Six head-scratching Jade Helm conspiracy theories

By Kyle Jahner via armytimes.com

Jade Helm 15, the multi-state, two-month U.S. Army Special Operations Command training exercise, began today, but the conspiracy theories surrounding it have collectively become a story unto themselves — with wild theories to include FEMA death domes and ice-cream-truck morgues.

The Army calls Jade Helm a standard training operation for unconventional warfare. But some have “connected the dots,” and the military’s true motives remain unstated: to either engage in an occupation or at least prepare for war within the U.S.

Whether you have concerns about Jade Helm or simply find the theories and ensuing furor and paranoia entertaining, below are the most striking theories. Meanwhile, skeptoid.com has a primer for anyone looking for more benign explanations to the alleged evidence of nefarious plotting — for those unworried about being labeled “sheeple” by conspiracy theorists.

FEMA Death Domes:

A hurricane dome in Florida in 2012, a structure that was being built in part with money from FEMA. (Photo: David J. Phillip/AP)

A hurricane dome in Florida in 2012, a structure that was being built in part with money from FEMA. (Photo: David J. Phillip/AP)

Some have alleged that new dome-shaped facilities are being built by FEMA for the purpose of detaining insurrectionists. While the Associated Press has written about the shelters, Jade Helm conspiracy theorists have latched onto FEMA Death Domes. Though purportedly hurricane and storm shelters that can protect a large number of people (and in cases provide community facilities like gymnasiums), conspiracy theorists argue that walls designed to withstand hurricanes and tornados make great prisons, and have linked them to Jade Helm.

Blue Bell Ice Cream trucks:

Conspiracy theorists are trying to link Blue Bell with Jade Helm. (Photo: Orlin Wagner/AP)

Conspiracy theorists are trying to link Blue Bell with Jade Helm. (Photo: Orlin Wagner/AP)

If you are going to start a war, you need a place to put the bodies, right? Some conspiracy theorists believe Blue Bell Ice Cream trucks could serve as mobile morgues. While none of the conspirators at Blue Bell balked at the idea and publicized the plot, sleuths found evidence: film of about a dozen Blue Bell trucks traveling on the same highway as a military convoy, apparently I-25 in Colorado.

Blue Bell closed it’s Denver-area distribution center near I-25 in May, the same month as the video was posted. Fort Carson sits about 75 miles down I-25 from Denver. The company has said the convoy convergence was a coincidence. Blue Bell has been reeling from a recall and production shut-down following discovery of listeria monocytogenes in its ice cream. Multiple deaths in recent years have been linked to the outbreak. Still, a conspiracy-minded site called the company’s first-ever recall suspicious and the trucks’ proximity to a military convoy “creepy” while also linking the company to the Bush family and defense contracts, but admitted it couldn’t verify whether the trucks were preparing to be mobile morgues or merely transporting food or just the trucks themselves from a closing facility.

Walmart: Always Low Prices … on bases for martial law:

Walmart stores have also raised suspicions. (Photo: Colin Kelly/Staff)

Walmart stores have also raised suspicions. (Photo: Colin Kelly/Staff)

The world’s largest retailer has become an essential element to any Jade Helm conspiracy site. A handful of Walmarts — two in Texas and one each in Florida, California and Oklahoma — suddenly closed in April for six months, with the company saying they needed to make plumbing repairs. There are actually two groups with conspiracy theories, which note that city officials in the cities said Walmart wasn’t filing for permits for repairs, according to a Florida ABC affiliate. One group expressing doubt is organized labor: some of the closings were allegedly punitive and retaliatory measures against workers agitating for better wages and rights, something they’ve been convicted of doing in Canada.

But Jade Helm theorists remain unsatisfied with either explanation of the closing of five out of more than 4,000 U.S. stores. (In addition, they cite razor wire protecting the roof of an abandoned Walmart in Cincinnati, though some noted it is in a high crime area and that copper and HVAC equipment would be a target for thieves.) Jade Helm theorists say the military plans to enact martial law and use the stores as processing locations or possibly to control the food supply in poorer areas. A theory also involves China using the sites as command centers, as it allegedly tries to replace the dollar as the global currency with its own and disarm Americans during a hostile takeover of the nation.

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Via YouTube

10 Completely Crazy Conspiracy Theories About The CDC

By Debra Kelly via Listverse

The main goal of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is to, theoretically, keep us safe from all those nasty diseases that they have locked away in their labs, their clean rooms, and their biohazard vaults. But, people are people, and people are naturally suspicious of anyone with that many nasty tools at their disposal. This has led a some pretty wild theories about just what’s going on behind the closed doors of the CDC.

10 • The Coffin Stockpile

CDC coffins_300pxThe CDC is located in Atlanta, Georgia, and that didn’t go unnoticed by people who had also seen what looked like a huge stockpile of coffins sitting in a field along Interstate 20, outside Madison, Georgia. Throw in proximity to the airport, and the rumor mill started turning.

According to the conspiracy theorists, the field was the site of coffins that the CDC was stockpiling in preparation for what they were calling a “high-casualty event.” Most recently, that was the massive Ebola outbreak, when conspiracy theorists realized that not only were the coffins still there, but there was also a page on the CDC website dedicated to the handling and disposal of the bodies of people who had died from Ebola. The site absolutely does specify that special caskets were required for burial. (Originally, they were called “hermetically sealed caskets,” a term that was replaced with “metal” caskets in a January 2015 update.)

There are a couple of huge problems with the whole theory. For one, the caskets are not actually caskets; they’re burial vault liners, which are placed inside the grave in areas that are prone to ground conditions like flooding. The heavy liners keep soil from shifting and collapsing into a wooden casket. Also, the burial vaults don’t belong to the CDC, FEMA, or any other government agency; they belong to the company that manufactures them, Vantage Products. The field in Georgia is just where they store them, and there’s nothing fishy about it, as their manufacturing facilities are located nearby.

9 • The Man-Made AIDS Virus

The idea that AIDS was a man-made virus unleashed on an unsuspecting population really got its start in an East German publication, allegedly sponsored by the KGB, called AIDS: USA Home-Made Evil. The 1986 work of two scientists, the pamphlet argued that the American government had used their Fort Detrick, Maryland, laboratory to combine a sheep virus with a human one to create AIDS.

The whole idea was taken a step further by Dr. William C. Douglass, who wrote AIDS: The End of Civilization and claimed that the German scientists were right, and the World Health Organization (WHO) and the CDC were responsible for the introduction of the virus into the human population. He claimed it wasn’t hard because it was spread through pretty much any kind of casual contact that you could think of, including mosquitoes.

Strecker Group head Dr. Robert Strecker also jumped on the conspiracy bandwagon with some even more impressive theories. According to him, the CDC is actively spreading the AIDS virus, which is actually a hybrid between a cow virus and a human one, and there are six different types of AIDS viruses all engineered in what he vaguely suggested might be a partnership with the Communists. His theories, works, and poorly made amateur videos went on to inspire Dr. Alan Cantwell, who pointed the finger at the CDC for what he believed were clear political motivations for their active spread of AIDS.

According to Cantwell, the CDC is the instrument of a genocide targeting America’s gay population. One of his fellow theorists goes, amazingly, a step further and suggests that this incredible attempt at genocide calls for nothing less than martial law and a revocation of civil liberties while the whole problem is sorted out.

8 • The CDC, Mercury-Tainted Vaccines, And Autism

Outdoor portrait of 6 years old boyThe battle over whether parents should or shouldn’t vaccinate their children is an ongoing one, and there’s a pretty fascinating story on the conspiracy theorists’ side. In 2005, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. published an article in Rolling Stone linking the big pharmaceutical chains with the government’s tendency to hide potentially dangerous effects.

According to Kennedy, the CDC held a meeting at the Simpsonwood Conference Center, that he described using words and phrases like “isolated” and “complete secrecy.” It was invitation-only, and only top officials from various parts of the government were invited—from the FDA, the WHO, and everyone from a who’s-who list of drug companies. They were under strict orders not to discuss anything.

The whole meeting allegedly had to do with findings released by a CDC epidemiologist that linked mercury-based vaccines with a high rate of autism and other developmental problems like delays in speech and hyperactivity. According to the data, vaccines were responsible for raising the instances of autism to one in 166 cases—up from the normal one in 2,500.

The rest of the conference, Kennedy says, was spent discussing how to cover everything up. He says that the transcripts of the super-top-secret meeting (which he acquired through the Freedom of Information Act) detail the damage control mode that all the representatives went into. Data was reworked, and the CDC was more than happy to lend a helping hand in getting rid of the mercury-based vaccinations, not by destroying them but by selling them and exporting them to other countries.

The transcripts convinced Kennedy that the dangers of vaccinations were real, pointing out that other countries, including Russia, had banned the mercury-based additive from vaccinations decades ago. He goes on to say that the clear conflict of interest and the connections between the CDC and the financial interests of the drug companies make it clear that something needs to be done.

The story hasn’t had an easy run of it. Originally, it first appeared in both Salon and Rolling Stone. Salon retracted the story, while it remained up on the Rolling Stone site in a pay-only section, until disappearing in what they called a “redesign error.” The article then reappeared, and Rolling Stone denied that they had purposely removed it, even though there were no links to the article anywhere, and search terms turned up nothing.

According to Kennedy, there are two doctors that have had access to the information he did: Mark and David Geiers. The Geiers themselves are controversial at best, promoting what they call a cure for autism that involves chemical castration. Mark Geier’s medical license was suspended for promoting this “cure,” and David Geier, who wasn’t even a doctor, was charged with practicing medicine without a license.

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Conspiracy Theorists Think an Army Training Exercise Will Bring Martial Law to the US This Summer

Military desert
By Colleen Curry via VICE News

An unclassified document that outlines a US Army training exercise scheduled for this summer includes a color-coded map that refers to Texas as “hostile territory” and calls a portion of California an “insurgent pocket,” leading a certain fringe on the internet to claim the exercise is really a dress rehearsal for a government plot to declare martial law.

The training exercise, known as Jade Helm 15, is scheduled to take place between July 15 and September 15 across parts of Texas, California, Arizona, and New Mexico, and will involve Green Berets, Navy SEALs, and other Special Ops forces. The uproar is over a slideshow presentation that outlines the effects the exercises might have on local populations. The US Army would not confirm the legitimacy of the document.

Conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones have been screeching about imminent martial law for years.
 

The above banner is taken from his InfoWars website in the year 2000. (Read More)

On the Sleuth Journal, a website that describes itself as an independent alternative media organization and also sells “preparedness and survival items,” author Dave Hodges said the drill was actually about “the brutal martial subjugation of the people of Texas, Utah and Southern California who have risen up against some unspecified tyranny.”

“A careful analysis reveals how this drill is connected to Army policies associated with the confinement of detainees in what is commonly called FEMA camps!” Hodge wrote, describing a conspiracy theory in which the government imprisons citizens in FEMA disaster camps. “This drill is undoubtedly the most frightening thing to occur on American soil since the Civil War.”

Infowars, the conspiracy-minded site founded by Alex Jones, also published a story on Jade Helm 15, calling it a plan for the “brutal martial law takeover of America [that] labels Texas and Utah as ‘hostile’ states due to their strong cultural identities.”

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Also See: Was Alex Jones an alarmist 13 years ago or is he an alarmist today? (iLLuMiNuTTi.com)

FEMA & the New Madrid Fault

By Stuff They Don’t Want You to Know via YouTube

Alex Jones Lies

Matt VannThis story tip provided by Matt Vann via Matt’s World O’ Wonders

Social media has escalated the tin-foil hat revolution. Baseless, fact-lacking garbage is multiplied a million-fold with the click of a mouse. When reading the latest drivel, every person has to wonder what truth lies behind the sensationalism. For once I’ve had a front row seat to the malicious nature of shock journalism.

Armored Personnel CarrierFifteen years of my law enforcement career were spent on the Midland County Sheriff’s Office SWAT Team. My last five years on the team were spent as commander before I transferred to the District Attorney’s Office. I’ve worked in or with many government entities in police and military capacity at state, local and federal levels.   My experience is that most government failure is the result of incompetence, complacency or indifference; all of which make a successful far-reaching conspiracy almost impossible.

Around 1998 our team received two M113 Armored Personnel Carriers from the military’s 1033 program. The current conspiracy theory is that these vehicles are to be used against civilians in a massive sweep to move the population into death camps. I never received any orders to take people to death camps, but we did deploy the vehicles in several high-risk situations. My team and its command consisted of very strong, proud patriots so I didn’t have much concern about their part in a world-domination plot. By providing smaller agencies with gear like the M113, the government has reduced the dependence of local police upon state or federal tactical assistance; which is the exact opposite of the alleged conspiracy. Further discredit of the 1033 foil hat theory is fodder for another blog post.

In 2007 our M113, nicknamed “Bubba,” was used to  .  .  .

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What happened to 7 World Trade Center?

By Stuff They Don’t Want You To Know via YouTube.

During the attacks on September 11th, 7 World Trade Center was destroyed. But it wasn’t struck by a plane. So what happened?

Also See: 9/11: Were Explosives Used? (iLLuMiNuTTi.com)

FEMA: Sticker shock

Gordon Bonnetby Gordon Bonnet via Skeptophilia

New from the “Wow, You People Really Get Upset About Everything, Don’t You?” department, we have a conspiracy theorist who thinks that the Evil Government Agents are marking our mailboxes with color-coded dots for some ominous purpose.

The dots, which are about three inches across, are either bright red, blue, or yellow.  And according to the aforementioned wackmobile, the whole idea is so that they can keep track of who is headed for termination:

More and more people are reporting their mail box or their house has been marked with color stickers or marks. Are these the FEMA death camp markings for foreign troops to gather us when the government declares martial law? In some area, even the local police & utility companies don’t even know why they are there.

FEMA mailbox_300px

Minister Paul shows us how FEMA is marking his mailbox.

He then follows it up with a couple of videos, showing his mailbox and a neighbor’s mailbox that have stickers.  And lo, one of them was red and one of them was blue, as was foretold by the prophecy.  Worse still, one of the mailboxes had the lock forced.  He talked to a guy at the post office, who said that the blue sticker meant that there was a forwarding order on that address.  The guy who made the video, who calls himself “Master Paul,” draws from this the following breathtaking conclusion:

If blue means “forward,” why is (the neighbor’s) red?  There are a lot of conspiracy theories on YouTube.  This is not a conspiracy theory.  You’re seeing it.  Red and blue!

Yup.  We saw it.  Red and blue.  And therefore FEMA death camps and martial law and public floggings of American citizens, or something.

To hammer home the point, we’re shown the following map, illustrating where stickered mailboxes have been reported to Master Paul et al.:

fema-color-code_600px

So after seeing all of this, I had to  .  .  .

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Also See: FEMA is marking mailboxes with colored dots to indicate the disposition of residents in the New World Order. (Snopes)

It was the best of times…

Gordon Bonnetby Gordon Bonnet via Skeptophilia

If there is a group of people I hate arguing with even more than I hate arguing with young-earth creationists, it’s the conspiracy theorists.

At least the young-earth creationists just think I’m working for Satan, a charge that I can understand, considering their view of things.  young_earth_300pxSure, we don’t accept the same ground rules for proof (evidence versus revelation); sure, we have different conclusions regarding where you can apply the laws of scientific inference (damn near everywhere versus only places where it doesn’t conflict with Holy Writ).

But at least we can talk.  The conspiracy theorists, you can’t even have a civil discussion with.  They accuse you of either being stupid or else working for evil humans, both of which are in my opinion worse than working for Satan because stupidity and evil humans actually exist.  The worst part, though, is that they pretend to accept the principles of rational argument, but then when it comes down to the point, they don’t, really.  You can bring out the best-researched study about the efficacy and safety of vaccines, the most convincing argument that 9/11 and Sandy Hook were not “inside jobs” or “false flags,” the most persuasive evidence out there that HAARP has nothing to do with raising tsunamis or causing earthquakes.

conspiracy to do list_200px_200pxAnd where does it get you?  They just write you off as a dupe or a shill.  It’s the ultimate example of the False Dilemma Fallacy; if you don’t agree with us, you’re one of…. Them.

The problem in this country has gotten so bad that Kurt Eichenwald did a big piece in Vanity Fair on the topic this week, and you all should read it.  In fact, everyone in the civilized world should read it, because it’s brilliant, even though it’s depressing.  I’ll give you a brief passage from it, but then I want you to go to the link and read the whole thing:

(W)e have become scientific and political illiterates, and no nation can survive on a bedrock of such delusional stupidity.  Of course, the 26 percent (or more) won’t believe me, if they manage to read this.  I’ll just be deemed an “elitist” for daring to suggest that demon science and data, rather than ridiculous conspiracy theories, should be used to judge reality.  So, it may be a losing battle, but we should all try.  I don’t want to be forced, someday, to stand by as the rest of the world renames our nation “America the Ignorant.”

It’s a bit of a coincidence that I should come across this when I did, because it came on the heels of another article, one sent to me by a loyal reader of Skeptophilia, femacamp2_250pxthat details one of the most pervasive and bizarre conspiracy theories out there: that the US government in general, and FEMA (the Federal Emergency Management Agency) in particular, are laying plans to kill us all.

Apparently, the whole thing is supposed to be carried out via guillotine, which is at least creative, if messy.

And here, we find out what they have in store for us:

Code ICD 9 E 978 Makes Execution by Guillotine Legal Under Obamacare.  The specific code sent to me will make any American’s hair stand up on the back of their neck.  The code is ICD 9 E 978.  After reading this code I decided that it was my duty to investigate further and get to the bottom of why we have a medical code in the United States for “Legal Execution.”  The Jesuits are behind most conspiracies and this one is no different…  Execution by Guillotine is painless.

And I’m thinking: what the fuck does Obamacare have to do with this?  Was that just something extra to throw in, along with the Jesuits for some reason, the way that the anti-GMO crowd will throw in the name “Monsanto” as a stand-in for Hitler?

At least they tossed us the cheerful tidbit that getting your head sliced off is painless.  I’m relieved, actually, considering what other methods they could have chosen.

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Accretion, eruption, and paranoia

Gordon Bonnetby Gordon Bonnet via Skeptophilia

Astrophysicists talk about the process of accretion, where microscopic particles of dust and ice stick together (largely through electrostatic attraction), leading to the formation of disks of matter around the parent star than can eventually form planets.  As the clumps of dust get larger, so does their gravitational attraction to nearby clumps — so they grow, and grow, and grow.

Conspiracy theories also grow by accretion.

One person notices one thing — very likely something natural, accidental, minor, insignificant — and points it out.  Others begin to notice other, similar phenomena, and stick those to the original observation, whether or not there is any real connection.  And as the number of accreted ideas grows, so does the likelihood of attracting other ideas, and soon you have a full-blown gas giant of craziness.

How did dew, collected in a glazed ceramic bowl, start the whole chemtrail conspiracy theory?

The whole chemtrail conspiracy theory nonsense began with some dew in a glazed ceramic bowl and a reporter that failed math class.

It seems to be, for example, how the whole nonsense about “chemtrails” started.  A reporter for KSLA News (Shreveport, Louisiana) in 2007 was investigating a report of “an unusually persistent jet contrail,” and found that a man in the area had “collected dew in bowls” after he saw the contrail.  The station had the water in the bowls analyzed, and reported that it contained 6.8 parts per million of the heavy metal barium — dangerously high concentrations.  The problem is, the reporter got the concentration wrong by a factor of a hundred — it was 68 parts per billion, which is right in the normal range for water from natural sources (especially water collected in a glazed ceramic bowl, because ceramic glazes often contain barium as a flux).  But the error was overlooked, or (worse) explained away post hoc as a government coverup.  The barium was at dangerous concentrations, people said.  And it came from the contrail.  Which might contain all sorts of other things that they’re not telling you about.

And thus were “chemtrails” born.

It seems like in the last couple of months, we’re seeing the birth of a new conspiracy theory, as if we needed another one.  Back in 2011, I started seeing stories about the Yellowstone Supervolcano, and how we were “overdue for an eruption” (implying that volcanoes operate on some kind of timetable).  At first, it was just in dubiously reliable places like LiveScience, but eventually other, better sources got involved, probably as a reaction to people demanding information on what seemed like a dire threat.  No, the geologists said, there’s no cause for worry.  There’s no indication that the caldera is going to erupt any time soon.  Yes, the place is geologically active, venting steam and gases, but there is no particular reason to be alarmed, because volcanoes do that.

Bison running for their lives? Photo: YouTube

Bison running for their lives? Photo: YouTube

Then, last month, we had people who panicked when they saw a video clip of bison running about, and became convinced that the bison had sensed an eruption coming and were “fleeing the park in terror.”  And once again, we had to speak soothingly to the panicked individuals, reassuring them that bison are prone to roaming about even when not prompted to do so by a volcano (cf. the lyrics to “Home on the Range,” wherein the singer wishes for “a home where the buffalo roam,” despite the fact that such a home would probably face animal dander issues on a scale even we dog owners can’t begin to imagine).

But the accretion wasn’t done yet.  The bison were too running from the volcano, people said.  So were the elk.  And then the real crazies got involved, and said that the government was already beginning to evacuate people from a wide region around Yellowstone, and relocating them to FEMA camps where they are cut off from communicating with anyone.  And when there was an explosion and fire at a gas processing plant in Opal, Wyoming two weeks ago, 150 miles from Yellowstone, and the whole town was evacuated, the conspiracy theorists went nuts.  This is it, they said.  It’s starting.  The government is getting people out, because they know the whole freakin’ place is going to explode.

Never mind the fact that the residents of Opal were all  .  .  .

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