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Report: Jade Helm Responsible for Texas Floods

By via Nevada County Scooper

Houston, TX — As more than 11 inches of rain fell in some spots of Houston overnight into Tuesday,  inundating byways and highways, slowing first responders, knocking out power and generally bringing the southeast Texas metropolis to a standstill, The Nevada County Scooper has learned that operation Jade Helm 15 has largely been responsible for the deluges. Although the military takeover of largely defiant Southern and Southwestern states hasn’t officially started yet, military insiders tell the Scooper that Texas flooding is was done to “soften the resistance to ‘Federal Forces’ and make the ‘resistive States more “amenable” to the guiding hand of the Federal Government’.”
GREG-ABBOTT“It was clear that the people of Texas were not going to cooperate and submit to the will of President Obama,” commented Jade Helm Lieutenant Colonel Jason “Jake” Jakeheart. “So we sent in the floods using this Chemtrail technology tested and developed by the eggheads at Beale Air Force base. They sprayed the skies for two weeks and it produced these rains.”

The Jade Helm Chemtrail program, also known as PC-GE234 or “Operational In-Order” has been deemed a tremendous success by military planners and by all accounts, has exceeded expectations.

“I mean, the proof is in the results,” continued  Lieutenant Colonel Jake. “We had the Texas Governor calling their National Guard to ‘monitor’ Jade Helm’s activities a few weeks ago. Now the Governor is calling the President for help with the floods. I’d say that’s the kind of submission and obedience we’re looking for before the great calamity arrives in October.”

According to people in the know, which includes mostly insane people, Operation Jade Helm’s purpose is to  .  .  .

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